tion
for you except to hasten away from here; only by this means can you lift
yourself again to the heights of your art whereas you are here sinking
to the commonplace,--and a symphony--and then away,--away,--meanwhile
fund the salaries which can be done for years. Work during the summer
preparatory to travel; only thus can you do the great work for your poor
nephew; later travel through Italy, Sicily, with a few other artists."

(Diary, spring of 1817. The salaries were the annuities paid him for
several years by Archduke Rudolph, Prince Rinsky and Prince Lobkowitz.
Seume's "Spaziergang nach Syrakus" was a favorite book of Beethoven's
and inspired him in a desire to make a similar tour, but nothing came of
it.)

229. "You must not be a man like other men: not for yourself, only for
others; for you there is no more happiness except in yourself, in your
art.--O God, give me strength to overcome myself, nothing must hold me
to this life."

(Beginning of the Diary, 1812-18.)

230. "Leave operas and all else alone, write only for your orphan, and
then a cowl to close this unhappy life."

(Diary, 1816.)

231. "I have often cursed my existence; Plutarch taught me resignation.
I shall, if possible, defy Fate, though there will be hours in my life
when I shall be the most miserable of God's creatures. Resignation! What
a wretched resort; yet it is the only one left me!"

(Vienna, June 29, 1800, to Wegeler.)

232. "Patience, they tell me, I must now choose for a guide. I have
done so. It shall be my resolve, lastingly, I hope, to endure until
it pleases the implacable Parca: to break the thread. There may be
improvement,--perhaps not,--I am prepared."

(From the Heiligenstadt Will.)

233. "Let all that is called life be offered to the sublime and become
a sanctuary of art. Let me live, even through artificial means, so they
can be found."

(Diary, 1814, when Beethoven was being celebrated extraordinarily by the
royalties and dignitaries gathered at the Congress of Vienna.)

234. "Ah! it seemed impossible for me to leave the world until I had
produced all that I felt called upon to produce; and so I prolonged this
wretched existence."

(From the Heiligenstadt Will.)

235. "With joy shall I hasten forward to meet death; if he comes before
I shall have had an opportunity to develop all my artistic capabilities,
he will come too early in spite of my har