The Project Gutenberg EBook of Stage-Land, by Jerome K. Jerome

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Title: Stage-Land

Author: Jerome K. Jerome

Posting Date: July 27, 2008 [EBook #858]
Release Date: March 1997

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STAGE-LAND ***

Produced by Ron Burkey, and Amy Thomte

STAGE-LAND.

by Jerome K. Jerome

TO

THAT HIGHLY RESPECTABLE BUT UNNECESSARILY

RETIRING INDIVIDUAL,

OF WHOM

WE HEAR SO MUCH

BUT

SEE SO LITTLE,

"THE EARNEST STUDENT OF THE DRAMA,"

THIS

(COMPARATIVELY) TRUTHFUL LITTLE BOOK

IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED.

CONTENTS.

THE HERO
THE VILLAIN
THE HEROINE
THE COMIC MAN
THE LAWYER
THE ADVENTURESS
THE SERVANT GIRL
THE CHILD
THE COMIC LOVERS
THE PEASANTS
THE GOOD OLD MAN
THE IRISHMAN
THE DETECTIVE
THE SAILOR

STAGE-LAND.

THE HERO.

His name is George, generally speaking. "Call me George!" he says to the
heroine. She calls him George (in a very low voice, because she is so
young and timid). Then he is happy.

The stage hero never has any work to do. He is always hanging about and
getting into trouble. His chief aim in life is to be accused of crimes
he has never committed, and if he can muddle things up with a corpse in
some complicated way so as to get himself reasonably mistaken for the
murderer, he feels his day has not been wasted.

He has a wonderful gift of speech and a flow of language calculated
to strike terror to the bravest heart. It is a grand thing to hear him
bullyragging the villain.

The stage hero is always entitled to "estates," chiefly remarkable for
their high state of cultivation and for the eccentric ground plan of the
"manor house" upon them. The house is never more than one story high,
but it makes up in green stuff over the porch what it lacks in size and
convenience.

The chief drawback in connection with it, to our eyes, is that all
the inhabitants of the neighboring village appear to live in the front
garden, but the hero evidently thinks it rather nice of them, as it
enables him to make speeches to them from the front doorstep--his