h of disdain from the proud bright
eye--that haughty sarcastic curve of her beautiful young lip, had
annihilated it. Yet, her words awoke a strange idea in my mind, that
finally lured me onward to destruction. They led me to imagine, that the
want of fortune was the only real obstacle between me and the attainment
of my presumptuous hopes. That common as my name was, I only required
the magic of gold to ennoble it; and proud as she was, if I were but
rich, even she would condescend to listen to me and become mine.
From that hour Miss Ella walked and talked with me no more. I saw her
daily at the hall, but she never cast upon me a passing glance, or if
chance threw us in the same path, she always turned disdainfully away.
The distance which every hour widened between us, only served to
increase the passion that consumed me. I tried to feel indifferent to
her scorn, in fact to hate her if I could, but my efforts in both cases
proved abortive.
Shortly after this conversation, Mr. Walter joined the army, and Miss
Ella accompanied her mother to France to finish her education; and I was
placed under the head gamekeeper, to learn the art of detecting snares
and catching poachers.
I filled the post assigned me with such credit to myself, and so
completely to the satisfaction of my master, that after a few years, on
the death of old Joe Hunter, I was promoted to his place, with a salary
of one hundred pounds per annum--and the use of this cottage and farm
rent free.
I now fancied myself an independent man; and my old longing for being a
gentleman returned with double force; and though I had not seen Miss
Ella for years, my boyish attachment was by no means diminished by
absence. I determined to devote all my spare time in acquiring a
knowledge of books. Our curate was a poor and studious man; to him I
made known my craving for mental improvement; and as my means were more
than adequate to my simple wants, and I never indulged in low vices, I
could afford to pay him well for instructing me in the arts and
sciences.
If Mr. Abel found me a willing pupil, I found in him a kind,
intellectual instructor. Would to God I had made him a confidant of the
state of my mind, and given him the true motives which made me so eager
to improve myself. But from boyhood I was silent and reserved, and
preferred keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself. I never could
share the product of my brain with another; and this unsociable
secret
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