er of these dreams.

I did not wish to inflict any personal injury on Mr. Carlos, who had
always been very kind to me and my mother; yet he was a person for whom
I felt little respect, and I often reproached myself for my want of
gratitude to our mutual benefactor.

He had a fine person, and a frank generous bearing, but his manners were
coarse and familiar, and his language immoral, and beneath the dignity
of a gentleman. I had frequently seen him intoxicated; and while in that
state I had often assisted him from his carriage, and guided his
tottering steps up the broad stone steps that led to his mansion.

I had often remarked to my mother, when such an event had filled me with
deep disgust, "Had Mr. Carlos been a poor man, he would have been a
great blackguard."

And she would grow very red and angry--more so than I thought the
occasion required, and say, "My son, it is not for the like of us to
censure the conduct of our betters. It is very unbecoming, especially in
you, on whom the Squire has conferred so many favours. You ought to shut
your eyes and ears, and tell to no one what you see and hear."

I did neither the one nor the other. I was keenly alive to the low
pursuits of my superior, whom I only considered as such, as far as his
rank and wealth were concerned, for hitherto I had led a more moral life
than he had. I neither gambled, nor drank, nor swore; had never seduced
a poor girl to her ruin, and then boasted of my guilt. If the truth must
be spoken, I regarded the Squire with feelings of indifference, which
amounted almost to contempt, which all sense of past obligations could
not overcome.

Oh, if these spoilt children of fortune did but know the light in which
such deeds are regarded by the poor, and the evils which arise from
their bad example, they would either strive to deserve their respect, or
at least strive to keep their immoralities out of sight!

It is, perhaps, no excuse for my crime to say, that had Mr. Carlos been
a good man, I should never have been a bad one, or have been tempted
under any circumstances to have taken his life; yet I do feel certain,
that if that had been the case, he would have been safe, and I had never
fallen. I should have tried to show my gratitude to him, by deserving
his esteem; as it was, I felt that his good opinion of me was of little
worth, that he could not prize good qualities in me to which he was
himself a stranger. The only tie which bound me to him w