ate
Mr. Sopley, and brought him in the last carriage, that he might
participate in the wedding-breakfast.

"Come along, sir," he said to the pastor. "Never mind about 'eaven,
let's come and cut ole 'Earty's pineapple, that'll make 'im ratty."

During the journey Bindle went on to explain that Mr. Hearty never
expected a guest to have the temerity to cut a pineapple when placed
upon his hospitable board.

"Is that so?" remarked Mr. Sopley, not in the least understanding what
Bindle was saying.

"It is," said Bindle solemnly; "you see, they goes back into stock."

"Ah-h-h-h!" remarked Mr. Sopley, gazing at the roof of the carriage.

"Clever ole bird this," muttered Bindle. "About as brainy as a
cock-sparrow wot's 'ad the wind knocked out of 'im."

When Bindle entered the Heartys' dining-room he found the atmosphere
one of unrelieved gloom. Mrs. Hearty was crying, Mr. Hearty looked
nervously solemn, Mrs. Bindle was uncompromisingly severe, and the
other guests all seemed intensely self-conscious. The men gazed about
them for some place to put their hats and umbrellas, the women
wondered what they should do with their hands. At the further end of
the room stood Millie and Charlie Dixon, Millie's hand still tucked
through her husband's arm. Never was there such joylessness as in Mr.
Hearty's dining-room that morning.

"'Ullo, 'ullo!" cried Bindle as he entered with Mr. Sopley. "Ain't
this a jolly little crowd!"

Millie brightened-up instantaneously, Charlie Dixon looked relieved.
Mr. Hearty dashed forward to welcome Mr. Sopley, tripped over Bindle's
cane, which he was holding awkwardly, and landed literally on Mr.
Sopley's bosom.

Mr. Sopley stepped back and struck his head against the edge of the
door.

"Look at 'earty tryin' to kiss ole Woe-and-Whiskers," remarked Bindle
audibly. Millie giggled, Charlie Dixon smiled, Mrs. Bindle glared, and
the rest of the guests looked either disapprovingly at Bindle, or
sympathetically at Mr. Hearty and Mr. Sopley. Mrs. Hearty collapsed
into a chair and began to undulate with mirth.

"Couldn't we 'ave an 'ymn?" suggested Bindle.

Mr. Hearty looked round from abjectly apologising to Mr. Sopley. He
hesitated a moment and glanced towards the harmonium.

"Uncle Joe is only joking, father," said Millie.

Mr. Hearty looked at Bindle reproachfully.

"Now then, let's set down," said Bindle.

After much effort and a considerable expenditure of physical force, he
managed to