fore they can bang the gates to, like they
do on the tube. Then I shall see ole 'Earty, all wings an' whiskers,
a-playin' rag-time on an 'arp."

Again Mr. Dixon's hearty laugh rang out. "Splendid!" he cried.
"Splendid!"

"I seen a good deal o' marriage one way an' another. Me an' Mrs. B.
'ave been tied up a matter o' nineteen years, an' look at 'er. Don't
she look 'appy?"

Everybody turned to regard Mrs. Bindle.

"Then," continued Bindle, "there's 'Earty. Look at 'im. One of the
jolliest coves I know."

Mechanically all eyes were directed towards Mr. Hearty.

"It all depends 'ow you goes about marriage. There's one thing you got
to remember before you gets married: bottles is returnable, likewise
new-laid eggs wot ain't new laid; but you can't return your missus,
not even if you pays the carriage. It's a lifer, is marriage.

"I ain't goin' to make a long speech, because the pubs close at
'alf-past two, an' you'll all want to wash the taste o' this 'ere
lemonade out o' your mouths."

Bindle paused and looked at the now happy faces of Millie and Charlie
Dixon. For a moment he gazed at them, then with suddenness he resumed
his seat, conscious that his voice had failed him and that he was
blinking and swallowing with unnecessary vigour. The silence was
broken only by the loud thumping on the table of Mr. Dixon.

"Bravo!" he cried. "Bravo! one of the best speeches I've ever heard.
Excellent! Splendid!"

Everybody looked at everybody else, as if wondering what would happen
next, and obviously deploring Mr. Dixon's misguided enthusiasm.

Alice solved the problem by entering and whispering to Millie that the
taxi was at the door. This was a signal for a general movement, a
pushing back of chairs and shuffling of feet as the guests rose.

Charlie Dixon walked across to Bindle.

"Get us off quickly, Uncle Joe, will you," he whispered. "Millie
doesn't think she can stand much more."

"Right-o, Charlie!" replied Bindle. "Leave it to me."

"Now then, 'urry up, 'urry up!" he called out. "You'll lose that
train, come along. Once aboard the motor and the gal is mine! Now,
Charlie, where's your cap? I'll see about the luggage."

Almost before anyone knew what was happening, they were gazing at the
tail-end of a taxi-cab being driven rapidly eastward. When it had
disappeared over the bridge, Bindle turned away and found himself
blinking into the moist eyes of Mrs. Dixon. He coughed violently,
then, as she smiled thro