ed and returned
on a clean plate.

"This 'ere all comes about through these coves wantin' foreign food,"
muttered Bindle to himself. "If they'd all 'ave a cut from the joint
and two veges, it 'ud be jest as simple as drinkin' beer. An' ain't
they touchy too," he continued. "Can't say a word to 'em, but what
they flies up and wants to scratch each other's eyes out."

Tranquillity restored, Bindle continued his ministrations. For half an
hour everything went quietly until two customers ordered ginger beer,
one electing to drink it neat, and the other in conjunction with a
double gin. Bindle managed to confuse the two glasses. The customer
who had been forced to break his pledge was greatly distressed, and
much official tact on the part of a superintendent was required to
soothe his injured feelings.

"Seems to me," muttered Bindle, "that I gets all the crocks. If
there's anythink funny about, it comes and sits down at one o' my
tables. Right-o, sir, comin'!" he called to an impatient customer,
who, accompanied by a girl clothed principally in white boots, rouge
and peroxide, had seated himself at the table just vacated by a couple
from the suburbs.

The man ordered a generous meal, including a bottle of champagne.
Bindle attentively wrote down a phonetic version of the customer's
requirements. The wine offered no difficulty, it was numbered.

Bindle had observed that wine was frequently carried to customers in a
white metal receptacle, sometimes containing hot water, at others
powdered ice. No one had told him of the different treatment accorded
to red and white wines. Desirous of giving as little trouble as
possible to his fellows, he determined on this occasion to act on his
own initiative. Obtaining a wine-cooler, he had it filled with hot
water and, placing the bottle of champagne in it, hurried back to the
customer.

Placing the wine-cooler on a service-table, he left it for a few
minutes, whilst he laid covers for the new arrivals.

The lady thirstily demanded the wine. Bindle lifted it from its
receptacle, wound a napkin round it as he had seen others do and,
nippers in hand, carried it to the table.

He cut the wires. Suddenly about half a dozen different things seemed
to happen at the same moment. The cork leapt joyously from the neck of
the bottle and, careering across the room, caught the edge of the
monocle of a diner and planted it in the soup of another at the next
table, just as he was bending do