-money--and where is
it? answer that, Terence O'Brien.' `Where is it, father? I'll tell
you--it's where next Christmas is--coming, but not come yet.'

"`Terence O'Brien,' said Father McGrath, `its absolution that you'll be
wanting to-morrow, after all your sins and enormities; and the devil a
bit shall you have--take that now.'

"`Father McGrath,' replied I very angrily, `it's no absolution that I'll
want from you, any how--take that now.'

"`Then you have had your share of heaven; for I'll keep you out of it,
you wicked monster!' said Father McGrath--`take that now.'

"`If it's no better than a midshipman's berth,' replied I, `I'd just as
soon stay out; but I'll creep in in spite of you--take that now, Father
McGrath.'

"`And who is to save your soul, and send you to heaven, if I don't, you
wicked wretch? but I'll see you damned first--so take that now, Terence
O'Brien.'

"`Then I'll turn Protestant and damn the Pope--take that now, Father
McGrath.'

"At this last broadside of mine, my father and all my brothers and
sisters raised a cry of horror, and my mother burst into tears. Father
McGrath seized hold of the pot of holy water, and dipping in the little
whisk, began to sprinkle the room, saying a Latin prayer, while they all
went on squalling at me. At last, my father seized the stool, which he
had been seated upon, and threw it at my head. I dodged, and it knocked
down Father McGrath, who had just walked behind me in full song. I knew
that it was all over after that, so I sprang over his carcase and gained
the door. `Good morning to ye all, and better manners to you next time
we meet,' cried I, and off I set as fast as I could for the ship.

"I was very sorry for what I had said to the priest, for my conscience
thumped me very hard at having even pretended that I'd turn Protestant,
which I never intended to do, nor never will, but live and die a good
Catholic, as all my posterity have done before me, and, as I trust, all
my ancestors will for generations to come. Well, I arrived on board,
and the first lieutenant was very savage. I hoped he would get over it,
but he never did; and he continued to treat me so ill, that I determined
to quit the ship, which I did as soon as we arrived in Cawsand Bay. The
captain allowed me to go, for I told him the whole truth of the matter,
and he saw that it was true; so he recommended me to the captain of a
jackass frigate, who was in want of midshipmen."

"Wha