g--you're a dog----
A dog--a dog-matic curmudgeon!"

And once when I said, "We can hardly afford
This extravagant style, with our moderate hoard,
And hinted we ought to be wiser.
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretfully cried, 'You're a Jew--you're a Jew----
A very ju-dicious adviser!'"

Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighbor,
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, "You're a cuss--cuss--cuss----
You were always ac-cus-tomed to labor!"

Out of temper at last with the insolent dame,
And feeling that madam was greatly to blame
To scold me instead of caressing,
I mimicked her speech--like a churl that I am--
And angrily said, "You're a dam--dam--dam
A dam-age instead of a blessing!"

JOHN GODFREY SAXE.

* * * * *

HE ROSE TO THE OCCASION

Several years ago there labored in one of the Western villages of
Minnesota a preacher who was always in the habit of selecting his texts
from the Old Testament, and particularly some portion of the history of
Noah. No matter what the occasion was, he would always find some
parallel incident from the history of this great character that would
readily serve as a text or illustration.

At one time he was called upon to unite the daughter of the village
mayor and a prominent attorney in the holy bonds of matrimony. Two
little boys, knowing his determination to give them a portion of the
sacred history touching Noah's marriage, hit upon the novel idea of
pasting together two leaves in the family Bible so as to connect,
without any apparent break, the marriage of Noah and the description of
the Ark of the Covenant.

When the noted guests were all assembled and the contracting parties
with attendants in their respective stations, the preacher began the
ceremonies by reading the following text: "And when Noah was one hundred
and forty years old, he took unto himself a wife" (then turning the page
he continued) "three hundred cubits in length, fifty cubits in width,
and thirty cubits in depth, and within and without besmeared with
pitch." The story seemed a little strong, but he could not doubt the
Bible, and after reading it once more and reflecting a moment, he turned
to the startled assemblage with these remarks: "My beloved brethren,
this is the first time in the history of