o break out, Lucifer and his counsellors returned to the palace,
and sat down again, according to their rank, upon their fiery thrones.
After silence had been called and the place cleared, a huge,
wry-shouldered devil, placed a back-load of fresh prisoners before the
bar. "Is this the road to Paradise," said one, (for they all pretended
not to know where they were.) "Or if this be Purgatory," said another,
"we have with us an authority, under the hand of the Pope, to go straight
to Paradise without tarrying any where a minute. Therefore show us the
way, or, by the Pope's toe, we will cause him to punish you." Ha! ha!
ha!--ho! ho! ho! said eight hundred devils; and Lucifer himself, parted
his jaws half a yard in a kind of bitter laugh. The others were
confounded at this; but one said, "well, if we have lost our way in the
darkness, we would pay any one who would guide us." "Ha! ha!" said
Lucifer, "you will pay the last farthing before ye go." Thereupon each
fell to searching for his money, but found, to his sorrow, that he had
left his breeches behind him. Quoth the Arch Fiend, "you left Paradise
on the left hand, above the lofty mountains; and, notwithstanding, it was
so easy to come down here, it is next to impossible to go back, owing to
the nature of the country, through which the road back lies. For it is a
country abounding with mountains of burning iron, immense dismal crags,
sheets of eternal ice, and roaring, headlong cataracts; a country, in
short, far too difficult for you to travel, unless indeed you have talons
of the true devilish length. Come, come," said he to his myrmidons,
"take these blockheads to our paradise, to their companions." At this
moment I could hear the voice of some people who were coming, swearing
and cursing in a frightful manner. "O the Devil! the blood of the Devil!
a hundred thousand devils! a thousand million devils take me if I will go
farther!" but, nevertheless, they were cast slap down before the judge.
"Here you have," said the carrier, "a load of as good fire wood as the
best in Hell." "What are they?" said Lucifer. "Masters of the genteel
art of cursing and swearing," replied the devil; "men who understand the
language of Hell quite as well as ourselves." "You lie in your mouth, by
the Devil!" said one of them. "Sirrah! do you take my name in vain?"
said the Arch Fiend. "Quick! and hang them by their tongues to the
burning precipice yonder, and if they call for th