y affairs had looked up a little, well--there's
no telling! And yet, to tell you this to-day does not even warm my
heart."

"Nor rattle a skeleton within its closet?"

"Not a rattle about me, sir, excepting the rattle of these beastly
newspapers on my chest. Have a smoke, Humphrey?"

The Colonel presented a handful of half-burned cigar-stubs.

"No choice. They're all twenty-five-centers, assorted from a Waldorf
lot."

"Thanks."

Humphrey took three. The Colonel, reserving one for his own use, dropped
the rest into his outer pocket.

And now eleven men passed, smoking, eleven unapproachables, before one
dropped a burning stump.

As Humphrey rose and strode indolently forward to secure the fragment,
there was a certain courtliness about the man that even a pair of short
trousers could not disguise. It was the same which constrains us to
write him down Sir Humphrey.

"I never appropriate the warmth of another man's lips," said he, as,
having first presented the light to his friend, he lit a fragment for
himself. Then, pressing out the fire of the last acquisition, he laid it
beside him to cool before adding it to his store.

"Nor I," responded the Colonel--"at least, I never did but once. I
happened to be walking behind General Grant, and he dropped a smoking
stub--"

"Which you took for Granted--"

"If you will, yes. It was a bit sentimental, I know, but I rather
enjoyed placing it warm from his lips to mine. It was to me a sort of
calumet, a pipe of peace, for rebel that I was, and am, I always
respected Grant. Then, too, I fancied that I might deceive the fragment
into surrendering its choicest aroma to me, since I surprised it in the
attitude of surrender, and I believe it did."

"Sentimental dog that you are!" said Sir Humphrey, smiling, as he
inserted the remaining bit of his cigar into an amber tip and returned
it to his lips.

"You have never disclosed to me, Humphrey, where you procured that piece
of bric-a-brac?"

"Haven't I? That is because of my Bostonian reticence. No secret, I
assure you. I found it, sir, in the lining of this coat. The fair donor
of this spacious garment on one occasion, at least, gave a _tip_ to
a beggar unawares."

"Exceptional woman. Seems to me the exceptional beggar would have
returned the article."

"Exceptional case. Didn't find the tip for a month. I was in Mobile at
the time. I should have written my benefactress had stationery been
available and had I known