her name. When I returned to New York in the
spring there was a placard on the house. Otherwise I should have
restored the tip, and trusted to her courtesy for the reward of virtue."

"You have forgotten that that commodity is its own reward?"

"Yes, and the only reward it ever gets, as a New Orleans wit once
remarked. Hence, here we are. However, returning to my fair
benefactress, I haven't much opinion of her. Any woman who would mend
her husband's coat-sleeve with glue--look at this! First moist spell,
away it went. Worst of it was I happened to have no garment under it at
the time. However, the incident secured me quite a handsome acquisition
of linen. Happened to run against a clever little tub-shaped woman whose
ample bosom, I take it, was ordered especially for the accommodation of
assorted sympathies. She, perceiving my azure-veined elbow, invited me
to the dispensing-room of the I. O. U. Society, of which she was a
member, and presented me with a roll of garments, and--would you believe
it?--there wasn't a tract or leaflet in the bundle--and as to my soul,
she never mentioned the abstraction to me. Now, that is what I call
Christianity. However, I may come across a motto somewhere, yet. Of
course, at my first opportunity, I put on those shirts--one to wear, and
the other three to carry. So I've given them only a cursory examination
thus far."

"Which one do you consider yourself wearing, Humphrey, and which do you
carry?"

"I wear the _outside_ one, of course--and carry the others."

"Do you, indeed? Well, now, if I were in the situation, I should feel
that I was wearing the one next my body--and carrying the other three."

"That's because you are an egotist and can't project yourself. I have
the power the giftie gi'e me, and see myself as others see me. How's
that for quick adaptation?"

"Quite like you. If the Scotch poet had not been at your elbow with his
offering, no doubt you'd have originated something quite as good. So you
may be at this moment absorbing condensed theology, _nolens
volens_."

"For aught I know, yes, under my armpits. However, I sha'n't object,
just so the dogmas don't crowd out my morals. My moral rectitude is the
one inheritance I proudly retain. I've never sold myself--to anybody."

"Nor your vote?"

"Nor my vote. True, I have accepted trifling gratuities on election
occasions; but they never affected my vote. I should have voted the same
way, notwithstanding."

"Well,