as taught. At the proper
moment, he met the object of his adoration back of the scenes and
fired his volley of transposed endearments. It had a tremendous effect
all right, but it was in reverse gear. Lorette screamed and ran, but
quickly returned to slap Andre's face, kick his shins, and push him
sprawling into a mess of paint cans and brushes. Surely a disastrous
ending for a well meant intention.

"Of course it turned out that Jimmy Quick, who secretly had notions of
his own as to the beauty and desirability of the object of Andre's
affections, had composed a proposal of all the vile and abusive words
in the English language. Jimmy was too big for Andre to chastise, but
as the rumor of the incident spread and the comedians began to quote
freely some of the indecent phrases of the hoax, Andre fled the scene
of torment. He left the company at Buffalo and went to Quebec where
English was in limited use, and the story unknown.

"But Andre's juggling act was invaluable among so many amateurs. The
manager went to Canada to urge his return. But by the time he
succeeded, Jimmy Quick had eloped with the fair Lorette and had joined
up with Cairstair's Congress of Living Wonders. And to give the matter
a modern and adult finish, it turned out that Andre already had a wife
and child in France.

"Yes, midgets--small in size and few in number--marry and raise
families in about the same proportions as 'the big ones.' It is a
matter of record that Mrs. Judith Skinner, herself a midget, gave
birth to fourteen children. They were all of normal size. In fact, the
mystery of midget existence is further complicated by the added truth
that no midget ever gave birth to a midget.

"Midgets never grow bald and are usually vain in the matter of dress,
probably due to the fact that in the past they were attaches of
royalty. A midget is usually suave in manners and not easily
embarrassed in public. Several instances are related that midgets,
back in the conspiring and deceitful days of royalty, gave their
patrons much information of enemy intrigues and adverse plottings
against the crown.

"This story is told of a midget's participation in imperial intrigue.
Richebourg, only twenty-three inches tall, was an attache of the royal
family of Orleans, deeply involved in the French Revolution. Swaddled
in baby garments, he was allowed to be carried through enemy lines by
an ignorant maid, bearing vital messages to friends of imprisoned
royalt