so did Mamma, who said she would have
it, torrents of it, at the next dinner party she gave. But when Sir
Ralph hurried to tell her that it was cheap, she vacillated, worrying
lest it shouldn't be worthy to go with her crowns.

I don't know whether it was the Spumante, or the sunshine, as golden as
the wine, but I felt quite happy again when we drove out of Asti. I
didn't care at all that I wasn't sitting beside Mr. Barrymore, though I
thought that I probably should care again by and by. Mamma was happy,
too, and Sir Ralph amused us by planning a book to be called "Motoring
for Experts, by Experts." There were a good many Rules for
Automobilists, such as:--

No. 1. Never believe you have got money enough with you when you start.
Whatever you think will be right, be sure you will want exactly twice as
much.

No. 2. Never suppose you have plenty of time, or plenty of room for your
luggage. Never get up in the morning at the time your chauffeur (not Mr.
Barrymore, but others) tells you he will have the car ready. Do not
leave your bed till the automobile is under your window, and do not pack
the things you have used for the night until the chauffeur has started
your motor for the third time.

No. 3. All invalids, except those suffering from pessimism, may hope to
be benefited by motoring; but pessimism in a mild form often becomes
fatally exaggerated by experience with automobiles, especially in
chauffeurs.

No. 4. Hoping that things which have begun to go wrong with a motor will
mend, should be like an atheist's definition of faith: "believing what
you know isn't true." If you _think_ a bearing is hot, but hope against
hope it 's only oil you smell, make up your mind that it _is_ the
bearing.

No. 5. Never dream that you'll get anywhere sooner than you thought you
would, for it will always be later; or that a road may improve, for it
is sure to grow worse; or that your chauffeur, or anyone you meet, knows
anything about the country through which you are to pass, for every one
will direct you the wrong way.

No. 6. If your chauffeur tells you that your car will be ready in an
hour, it will be three, if not four; if he says that you can start on
again that afternoon, it will be to-morrow before lunch.

No. 7. Put not your trust in Princes, nor in the motor-cars of Princes.

No. 8. Cultivate your bump of presence of mind, and the automobile will
see that you have plenty of other bumps.

We hadn't got half to th