window and gave a wild cry. 'Red sky
in the morning shepherds' warning,' she wailed. At breakfast Cocklewhite
phoned that his leech was dead, and he had strong suspicions it had died
from atmospheric pressure. Almost at the same moment _Lysander_ sent word
that his seaweed had gone clammy during the night. Half-an-hour later came
a clap of thunder and the drops of rain I mentioned. I needn't go on. You
can guess the rest."

Melhuish paused.

"But the performance came off, didn't it?" I said.

"Yes, in the Parish Hall. It was a perfect day for a pastoral."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Profiteer._ "I WANT YOU TO PAINT ME WITH A BOOK IN MY 'AND
AND MY VALET STANDIN' UNOBTRUSIVELY IN THE BACKGROUND IN CASE I MIGHT WISH
TO CALL 'IM."]

* * * * *

A CLEAN HITTER.

"J. ---- carried his bath through the innings."--_Scotch Paper._

* * * * *

"Fishing near the bridge on Monday a schoolboy caught a chub with
artificial fly weighing 2lbs. 15ozs."--_Local Paper._

It is supposed that the unfortunate fish was struck on the head and
stunned.

* * * * *

"After long delays a new Polish Cabinet has been formed under Mr.
Grabski. He would annex much Russian territory outright."--_Weekly
Paper._

_Pace_ SHAKSPEARE, there would seem to be something in a name.

* * * * *

"THAT QUEER FISH THE SALMON.

Some fish are 'takers,' some are not, but most salmon can be worried
into talking."--_Daily Paper._

Whereas most fishermen chatter of their own accord.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Fair Skipper._ "WIND GETTIN' UP NICELY--WHAT?"]

* * * * *

HARDING AND COX.

(_Being an inquiry into the two Candidates for the Presidency of the United
States of America._)

I wish I knew some facts regarding
The private life of Mr. HARDING;
I wish that I had simply stocks
Of anecdotes of Mr. COX.

In U.S.A. (where both are resident
And each one hoping to be President)
Their favourite hymns, their size in boots,
Their views on liquor and cheroots

Are known to all; not JULIUS CAESAR
Is quite so much renowned as these are.
In England, where they do not dwell,
No one appears to know them well.

One cannot say if COX'S liver
Keeps well upon t