-thirds
length, making it impossible to see how badly the cuffs on my trousers
bag over the tops of my shoes. Here I become myself again. I have even
thought that I might be handsome if I paid as much attention to my looks
as some men do. In this mirror, my clothes look (for the last time) as
similar clothes look on well-dressed men. A hat which is in every
respect perfect when seen here, immediately becomes a senatorial
sombrero when I step out into the street, but for the brief space of
time while I am in that elevator, I am the _distingue_, clean-cut,
splendid figure of a man that the original blue-prints called for. I
wonder if it takes much experience to run an elevator, for if it
doesn't, I would like to make my life-work running that car with the
magic mirror.
XXIX
THE POWER OF THE PRESS
The Police Commissioner of New York City explains the wave of crime in
that city by blaming the newspapers. The newspapers, he says, are
constantly printing accounts of robberies and murders, and these
accounts simply encourage other criminals to come to New York and do the
same. If the papers would stop giving all this publicity to crime, the
crooks might forget that there was such a thing. As it is, they read
about it in their newspapers every morning, and sooner or later have to
go out and try it for themselves.
This is a terrible thought, but suggests a convenient alibi for other
errant citizens. Thus we may read the following NEWS NOTES:
Benjamin W. Gleam, age forty-two, of 1946 Ruby Avenue, The Bronx, was
arrested last night for appearing in the Late Byzantine Room of the
Museum of Fine Arts clad only in a suit of medium-weight underwear. When
questioned Gleam said that he had seen so many pictures in the newspaper
advertisements of respectable men and women going about in their
underwear, drinking tea, jumping hurdles and holding family reunions,
that he simply couldn't stand it any longer, and had to try it for
himself. "The newspapers did it," he is quoted as saying.
Mrs. Leonia M. Eggcup, who was arrested yesterday on the charge of
bigamy, issued a statement today through her attorneys, Wine, Women and
Song.
"I am charged with having eleven husbands, all living in various parts
of the United States," reads the statement. "This charge is correct. But
before I pay the extreme penalty, I want to have the public understand
that I am not to blame. It is the fault of the press of this country.
Day aft
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