n years have passed away, and the mother is
perhaps in her grave, her sons think of her with a mingled feeling excited
by the conjoined remembrance of her helpless imbecility and of her true
maternal love, and say to each other, with a smile, "Poor dear mother! what
a time she had of it trying to govern us boys!"

If a mother is willing to have her children thus regard her with contempt
pure and simple while they are children, and with contempt transformed
into pity by the infusion of a tardy sentiment of gratitude, when they
are grown, she may try the plan of endeavoring to secure their love by
_indulging_ them without _governing_ them. But if she sets her heart on
being the object through life of their respectful love, she may indulge
them as much as she pleases; but she _must govern_ them.

_Indulgence_.

A great deal is said sometimes about the evils of indulgence in the
management of children; and so far as the condemnation refers only to
indulgence in what is injurious or evil, it is doubtless very just. But
the harm is not in the indulgence itself--that is, in the act of affording
gratification to the child--but in the injurious or dangerous nature of the
things indulged in. It seems to me that children are not generally indulged
enough. They are thwarted and restrained in respect to the gratification of
their harmless wishes a great deal too much. Indeed, as a general rule, the
more that children are gratified in respect to their childish fancies
and impulses, and even their caprices, when no evil or danger is to be
apprehended, the better.

When, therefore, a child asks, "May I do this?" or, "May I do that?" the
question for the mother to consider is not whether the thing proposed is a
wise or a foolish thing to do--that is, whether it would be wise or foolish
for _her_, if she, with her ideas and feelings, were in the place of the
child--but only whether there is any harm or danger in it; and if not, she
should give her ready and cordial consent.

_Antagonism between Free Indulgence and Absolute Control_.

There is no necessary antagonism, nor even any inconsistency, between the
freest indulgence of children and the maintenance of the most absolute
authority over them. Indeed, the authority can be most easily established
in connection with great liberality of indulgence. At any rate, it will be
very evident, on reflection, that the two principles do not stand at all
in opposition to each other, as is ofte