The Project Gutenberg EBook of Husbandry, by W.W. Jacobs

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Title: Husbandry
Deep Waters, Part 6.

Author: W.W. Jacobs

Release Date: March 6, 2004 [EBook #11476]

Language: English

Character set encoding: US-ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUSBANDRY ***

Produced by David Widger

DEEP WATERS

By W.W. JACOBS

HUSBANDRY

Dealing with a man, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully, is as easy as
a teetotaller walking along a nice wide pavement; dealing with a woman is
like the same teetotaller, arter four or five whiskies, trying to get up
a step that ain't there. If a man can't get 'is own way he eases 'is
mind with a little nasty language, and then forgets all about it; if a
woman can't get 'er own way she flies into a temper and reminds you of
something you oughtn't to ha' done ten years ago. Wot a woman would do
whose 'usband had never done anything wrong I can't think.

I remember a young feller telling me about a row he 'ad with 'is wife
once. He 'adn't been married long and he talked as if the way she
carried on was unusual. Fust of all, he said, she spoke to 'im in a
cooing sort o' voice and pulled his moustache, then when he wouldn't give
way she worked herself up into a temper and said things about 'is sister.
Arter which she went out o' the room and banged the door so hard it blew
down a vase off the fireplace. Four times she came back to tell 'im
other things she 'ad thought of, and then she got so upset she 'ad to go
up to bed and lay down instead of getting his tea. When that didn't do
no good she refused her food, and when 'e took her up toast and tea she
wouldn't look at it. Said she wanted to die. He got quite uneasy till
'e came 'ome the next night and found the best part of a loaf o' bread, a
quarter o' butter, and a couple o' chops he 'ad got in for 'is supper had
gorn; and then when he said 'e was glad she 'ad got 'er appetite back she
turned round and said that he grudged 'er the food she ate.

And no woman ever owned up as 'ow she was wrong; and the more you try and
prove it to 'em the louder they talk about something else. I know wot
I'm talking about because a woman made a mistake ab