k--what a sad thing, what a vortex of
conflicting emotions the heart of Amy Snurge must have been during those
hard years, knowing her husband's strength and resource, deploring yet
loving his weakness, encouraging, aiding and abetting his every act with
the feminine pertinacity which has characterized the world's greatest
heroines. Poor woman, no wonder the grave claimed her so soon, for like
the bass--like Democracy, her vitality was exhausted by the destructive
and constructive force of Snurge. Only unlike the bass she couldn't swim
well, and unlike Democracy she had the man to contend with as well as
the politician.

Snurge was by no means a revolutionary; he possessed too many ideals
and too little passion, he was essentially a passionless man--except of
course the one historic occasion during his campaign against prohibition
when he completely lost control, and flying low in a government
aeroplane broke a bottle of green chartreuse over the head of the Statue
of Liberty.

The uproar which was the natural outcome of this defiant protest, was
abruptly stemmed by the sudden reversal of his tactics on the day
following the event, when he made a spirited appeal in West Forty-Second
Street _for_ prohibition! This resulted in a hopeless gloom enveloping
the metropolis. The populace commenced to realise in a measure the
unreliability of Snurge as a saviour of the state, while at the same
time fully appreciating his many sterling qualities.

Dark things were whispered in the White House.

One need not go far then to seek the reason for his fall from grace, his
utter failure as a Republican candidate for the presidency--it was his
generosity, his innate humanity, and his extraordinary breadth and
clarity of vision.

If this man had but been president in 1914 there might not have been any
war. Had he been president in 1776 there might not have been any
revolution, and had he but been president in 1491 God knows what there
might not have been.

REFERENCE

America in Sunshine and Shadow _B. F. Bramp_. 2 Vols.
The Roguish Royalist _Anonymous_
Mirrors of Salt Lake City _By the Gentleman with the Cuspidor. 5 Vols._
Amy Snurge, a Grand Woman _Ernest Frapple_. 2 Vols.
"Columbia Beware!" _Weedheim._

_I am also deeply indebted to Esther Throtch for her unlimited energy
and devoted assistance._

BIANCA DI PIANNO-FORTI

[Illustration: BIANCA DI PIANN