l reading. _Ex nihilo nihil fit._
Barnstaple, I am at the very bathos of stupidity.

_B._ You certainly were absorbed when I entered, for I introduced
myself.

_A._ I wish you had introduced another personage with you--you would
have been doubly welcome.

_B._ Who is that?

_A._ My heroine. I have followed your instructions to the letter. My
hero is as listless as I fear my readers will be, and he is not yet in
love. In fact, he is only captivated with himself. I have made him
dismiss Coridon.

_B._ Hah! how did you manage that?

_A._ He was sent to ascertain the arms on the panel of a carriage. In
his eagerness to execute his master's wishes, he came home with a
considerable degree of perspiration on his brow, for which offence he
was immediately put out of doors.

_B._ Bravo--it was unpardonable--but still----

_A._ O! I know what you mean--that is all arranged; he has an annuity of
one hundred pounds per annum.

_B._ My dear Ansard, you have exceeded my expectations; but now for the
heroine.

_A._ Yes, indeed; help me--for I have exhausted all my powers.

_B._ It certainly requires much tact to present your heroine to your
readers. We are unfortunately denied what the ancients were so happy to
possess--a whole _cortege_ of divinities that might be summoned to help
any great personage in, or the author out of, a difficulty; but since we
cannot command their assistance, like the man in the play who forgot his
part, we will do without it. Now, have you thought of nothing new, for
we must not plagiarise even from fashionable novels?

_A._ I have thought--and thought--and can find nothing new, unless we
bring her in in a whirlwind: that has not yet been attempted.

_B._ A whirlwind! I don't know--that's hazardous. Nevertheless, if she
were placed on a beetling cliff, overhanging the tempestuous ocean,
lashing the rocks with its wild surge; of a sudden, after she has been
permitted to finish her soliloquy, a white cloud rising rapidly and
unnoticed--the sudden vacuum--the rush of mighty winds through the
majestic and alpine scenery--the vortex gathering round her--first
admiring the vast efforts of nature; then astonished; and, lastly,
alarmed, as she finds herself compelled to perform involuntary
gyrations, till at length she spins round like a well-whipped top,
nearing the dangerous edge of the precipice. It is bold, and certainly
quite novel--I think it will do. Portray her delicate little feet,
peepin