very clever. Nature is, in most instances, very impartial; she
has given plumage to the peacock, but, as everyone knows, not the
slightest ear for music. Throughout the feathered race it is almost
invariably the same; the homeliest clad are the finest songsters. Among
animals the elephant is certainly the most intelligent, but, at the same
time, he cannot be considered as a beauty. Acting upon this well
ascertained principle, nature imagined, that she had done quite enough
for Jack when she endowed him with such personal perfection; and did not
consider it was at all necessary that he should be very clever; indeed,
it must be admitted not only that he was not very clever, but (as the
truth must be told) remarkably dull and stupid. However, the
Littlebrains have been for a long while a well-known, numerous, and
influential family, so that, if it were possible that Jack could have
been taught anything, the means were forthcoming: he was sent to every
school in the country; but it was in vain; at every following vacation,
he was handed over from the one pedagogue to the other, of those whose
names were renowned for the Busbian system of teaching by stimulating
both ends: he was horsed every day and still remained an ass, and at the
end of six months, if he did not run away before that period was over,
he was invariably sent back to his parents as incorrigible and
unteachable. What was to be done with him? The Littlebrains had always
got on in the world, somehow or another, by their interest and
connections; but here was one who might be said to have no brains at
all. After many _pros_ and _cons_, and after a variety of consulting
letters had passed between the various members of his family, it was
decided, that as his maternal uncle, Sir Theophilus Blazers, G.C.B., was
at that time the second in command in the Mediterranean, he should be
sent to sea under his command; the Admiral, having in reply to a letter
on the subject, answered that it was hard indeed if he did not lick him
into some shape or another; and that, at all events, he'd warrant that
Jack should be able to box the compass before he had been three months
nibbling the ship's biscuit; further, that it was very easy to get over
the examination necessary to qualify him for lieutenant, as a turkey and
a dozen of brown stout sent in the boat with him on the passing day, as
a present to each of the passing captains, would pass him, even if he
were as incompetent as a