came to tell me that my mother was better--they found me in the
state which I have described, and in a fever besides. The favourable
crisis must have occurred just about the time that I performed the magic
touch; it certainly was a curious coincidence, yet I was not weak enough,
even though a child, to suppose that I had baffled the evil chance by my
daring feat.
'Indeed, all the time that I was performing these strange feats, I knew
them to be highly absurd, yet the impulse to perform them was
irresistible--a mysterious dread hanging over me till I had given way to
it; even at that early period I frequently used to reason within myself
as to what could be the cause of my propensity to touch, but of course I
could come to no satisfactory conclusion respecting it; being heartily
ashamed of the practice, I never spoke of it to anyone and was at all
times highly solicitous that no one should observe my weakness.'
CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
MATERNAL ANXIETY--THE BARONET--LITTLE ZEST--MR
SPEAKER!--CRAVING--SPIRITED ADDRESS--AUTHOR
After a short pause my host resumed his narration. 'Though I was never
sent to school, my education was not neglected on that account; I had
tutors in various branches of knowledge, under whom I made a tolerable
progress; by the time I was eighteen I was able to read most of the Greek
and Latin authors with facility; I was likewise, to a certain degree, a
mathematician. I cannot say that I took much pleasure in my studies; my
chief aim in endeavouring to accomplish my tasks was to give pleasure to
my beloved parent, who watched my progress with anxiety truly maternal.
My life at this period may be summed up in a few words: I pursued my
studies, roamed about the woods, walked the green lanes occasionally,
cast my fly in a trout stream, and sometimes, but not often, rode
a-hunting with my uncle. A considerable part of my time was devoted to
my mother, conversing with her and reading to her; youthful companions I
had none, and as to my mother, she lived in the greatest retirement,
devoting herself to the superintendence of my education, and the practice
of acts of charity; nothing could be more innocent than this mode of
life, and some people say that in innocence there is happiness, yet I
can't say that I was happy. A continual dread overshadowed my mind, it
was the dread of my mother's death. Her constitution had never been
strong, and it had been considerably shaken by her last illness
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