on the Fly.

The bass-drum is all right at the head of the procession, but the
still-hunt cuts the most ice in politics.

The up-to-date dude, a-sport with patent-leathers and a Panama hat, puts
on lots of style, but he began life as a bald headed and bare-foot boy
along with the common herd.

Whenever you see an old maid who giddily shies off from the croup when
the little folks grow wheezy, you can put it down as a sure sign that
she is trying to conceal her age.

The Glorious Fourth.

Sister got her new hat wet,
An' her white dress fair;
Mother got a cannon-crack
'Sploded in her hair;
Pap got powder in his face
Shootin' anville thayre;
Billy got an' ear tore off,
Sammy lost an eye;
Got two fingers broke myself,
Fourth o' ole July!

When the Bills Come Due.

There are many things that bother
In this mixed up world of ours,
And the paths we wander over
Are not always filled with flowers;
While some days are bright and sunny
There are others black and blue,--
And the day that brings the trouble
When the bills come due!

When the bills come due,
After all the debts accrue,
O, it's all another story,
When the bills come due!

We blow in without a falter
For most every thing in sight,
From the dawn of Monday morning
Till the dark of Sunday night;
And we dinner on the dainties,
Robe in garbs of gorgeous hue,
But it's all another story
When the bills came due.

O, we chase the rounds of travel,
On a cruise from shore to shore,
And no diff'rence what we purchase
Still we always buy the more;
It's a barter every minute,
Till possessions large accrue,
But the clouds come down with darkness
When the bills come due!

When the bills come due,
After all the debts accrue,
O, it's all another story,
When the bills come due!

Well Prepared.

"How are you getting on, Mose?" asked an anxious creditor of an
impecunious colored farmer.

"Wull, boss, pickin's kinder slim erroun' de cabin jes' now, but I'm a
livin' in hopes. I've got two yakers er cotton's dat's middlin' fine,
an' ten yakerser worter-millyuns dat am de bes' I ever see; an' ef I
doan't git er millyun yakers er hebben dis fall, I miss my guess mighty
bad!"

The Kingbolt Philosopher.

"Thar's nuthin' in all thi