e've got yer hair fixt, jest splinter the
spine o' your back,--'twouldn't hurt your looks a mite: you'd be
intirely unresistible if you was a _leetle_ grain straiter.

_Mr. C._--Well, I never!

_Widow_--Hold your tongue, you consarned old coot you! I tell you
_there's_ your hat, and _there's_ the door: be off with yerself, quick
metre, or I'll give ye a h'ist with the broomstick.

_Mr. C._--Gimmeni!

_Widow_ (rising)--Git out, I say! I ain't a-gwine to stan' here and be
insulted under my own ruff; and so git along; and if ever you darken my
door ag'in, or say a word to Melissy, it'll be the wuss for you,--that's
all.

_Mr. C._--Treemenjous! What a buster!

_Widow_--Go 'long,--go 'long,--go long, you everlastin' old gum! I won't
hear another word (stops her ears). I won't. I won't. I won't. (Exit Mr.
Crane.)

* * * * *

(Enter Melissy, accompanied by Captain Canoot.)

Good-evenin', cappen! Well, Melissy, hum at last, hey? Why didn't you
stay till mornin'? Purty business keepin' me up here so late waitin' for
you, when I'm eny-most tired to death iornin' and workin' like a slave
all day,--ought to ben abed an hour ago. Thought ye left me with
agreeable company, hey? I should like to know what arthly reason you had
to s'pose old Crane's was agreeable to me? I always despised the
critter; always thought he was a turrible fool, and now I'm convinced
on't. I'm completely dizgusted with him; and I let him know it to-night.
I gin him a piece o' my mind't I guess he'll be apt to remember for a
spell. I ruther think he went off with a flea in his ear. Why, cappen,
did ye ever hear of such a piece of audacity in all yer born days? for
him--_Tim Crane_--to durst to expire to my hand,--the widder o' Deacon
Bedott! Jest as if _I_'d condescen' to look at _him_,--the old numskull!
He don't know B from a broomstick; but if he'd 'a' stayed much longer
I'd 'a' teached him the difference, I guess. He's got his
_walkin'-ticket_ now. I hope he'll lemme alone in futur'. And where's
Kier? Gun home with the Cranes, hey! Well, I guess it's the last time.
And now, Melissy Bedott, you ain't to have nothin' more to dew with them
gals,--d'ye hear? You ain't to 'sociate with 'em at all arter this:
'twould only be incurridgin' the old man to come a-pesterin' me ag'in;
and I won't have him round,--d'ye hear? Don't be in a hurry, cappen, and
don't be alarmed at my gettin' in such a passion about old Crane's
per