ting his friends ride free, eh?" said the
Bibliomaniac.

"Never," said the Idiot. "Pete was honest and he rung 'em up same as
anybody and of course had to settle with the Treasurer at the end of the
trip. On his first month he was nine dollars out. Then he couldn't bring
himself to ask a lady for money, and if a passenger looked like a sport
Pete would offer to match him for his fare--double or quits. Consequence
was he lost money steadily. All the hard luck people used to ride with
him, too, and one night--it was a bitter night in December and everybody
in the car was pretty near frozen--Pete stopped his car in front of the
Fifth Avenue Hotel and invited everybody on board to come in and have a
wee nippy. All except two old ladies and a Chinaman accepted and of
course the reporters got hold of it, told the story in the papers and
Pete was bounced. I don't think the average college graduate is quite
suited by temperament for the trolley service."

"All of which is intensely interesting," observed the Bibliomaniac, "but
I don't see how it helps to make your University Intelligence Office
Company convincing."

"It helps in this way," explained the Idiot. "We shall have a Board of
Inspectors made up of men with some knowledge of human nature who will
put these thousands of young graduates through a cross-examination to
find out just what they can do. Few of 'em have the slightest idea of
that and they'll gladly pay for the assistance we propose to give them
when they have discovered that they have taken the first real step
toward securing a useful and profitable occupation. If a Valedictorian
comes into the University Intelligence Office and applies for a job
we'll put him through a third degree examination and if we discover in
him those restful qualities which go to the making of a good plumber,
we'll set about finding him a job in a plumbing establishment. If a
Greek Salutatorian in search of a position has the sweep of arm and
general uplift of manner that indicates a useful career as a
window-washer, we will put him in communication with those who need just
such a person."

"How about the coldly supercilious young man who knows it all and wishes
to lead a life of elegant leisure, yet must have wages?" asked the
Bibliomaniac. "Our Colleges are turning out many such."

"He's the easiest proposition in the bunch," replied the Idiot. "If they
were all like that our fortunes would be established in a week."

"In wha