ne went for a ride,
But the automobile shied;
Threw the party all about--
Somehow, Jane felt quite put out.

THE COLD, HARD LAKE

Gentle Jane went out to skate;
She fell through at half-past eight.
Then the lake, with icy glare,
Said, "Such girls I can not bear."

THE CALM STEAM-ROLLER

In the big steam-roller's path
Gentle Jane expressed her wrath.
It passed over. After that
Gentle Jane looked rather flat.

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Much surprised was gentle Jane
When a bullet pierced her brain;
"Such a thing as that," she said,
"Never came into my head!"

THE BATTERING-RAM

"Ah!" said gentle Jane, "I am
Proud to meet a battering-ram."
Then, with shyness overcome,
Gentle Jane was just struck dumb.

A FEW REFLECTIONS

BY BILL ARP

I rekon I've lived as much as most foaks accordin' to age, and I ain't
tired of livin' yit. I like it. I've seen good times, and bad times, and
hard times, and times that tired men's soles, but I never seed a time
that I coulden't extrakt sum cumfort out of trubble. When I was a boy I
was a lively little devil, and lost my edycashun bekaus I couldn't see
enuf fun in the spellin' book to get thru it. I'm sorry for it now, for
a blind man can see what a fool I am. The last skhoolin' I got was the
day I run from John Norton, and there was so much fun in that my daddy
sed he rekoned I'd got larnin' enuf. I had a bile on my back as big as a
ginney egg, and it was mighty nigh ready to bust. We boys had got in a
way of ringin' the bell before old Norton got there, and he sed that the
first boy he kotched at it would ketch hail Kolumby. Shore enuf he
slipped upon us one mornin', and before I knowed it he had me by the
collar, and was layin' it on like killin' snakes. I hollered, "My bile,
my bile, don't hit me on my bile," and just then he popped a center
shot, and I jumped three feet in the atmosphere, and with a hoop and a
beller I took to my heels. I run and hollered like the devil was after
me, and shore enuf he was. His long legs gained on me at every jump, but
just as he was about to grab me I made a double on him, and got a fresh
start. I was aktiv as a cat, and so we had it over fences, thru the
woods, and round the meetin' house, and all the boys was standin' on
skool house hill a hollerin', "Go it, my Bill--go it, my Bill." As good
luck would have it there was a grape vine a swingin' away ahead of me,
and I duck