Siding and left among the Dog-Fennel, when the Subject of this
Sketch was _aetat_ 22, he was picking them out of the Air in the Left
Garden at the State University. Fannie (she of the purchased Pallor)
was thoroughly married to a Veterinary with the Drug Habit.

Soon after recovering from the Pip, known in Medical Parlance as the
Spooney Infantum, he began to glory in the friendship of an incipient
Amazon who wore a Blazer and walked like a Policeman.

She did not hamper her fibrous Physique with any excess Harness that
might pinch when she essayed a full St. Andrew's Swipe with a wooden
Club. And she had one lower octave of Pipes, like a Brakeman on the
Erie.

There comes a brief Period in the Veal Epoch of every Sentimental
Tommy when the only real Cutie is one who can propel a Canoe and throw
Overhand.

So Walter, such being the baptismal Handicap, often thought it would
be Sweet Billiards to keep house with the she-Acrobat for 30 or 40
years, because when they were tired of sitting in the House they could
go into the Front Yard and play Ketch.

He was just at the rickety Age when the Gams refuse to cooerdinate.
Every time he sauntered carelessly across the porch at a Summer Hotel,
he gave a correct Imitation of a troop of Cavalry going over a Wooden
Bridge at full Gallop.

[Illustration: Every time he sauntered carelessly across the porch, he
gave a correct Imitation of a troop of Cavalry going over a Wooden
Bridge]

He had a way of backing into Potted Plants.

Each Morning was clouded by the task of picking out a Cravat that
would be of the same Radio-Activity as the Socks. And all through the
waking hours he carried with him a faint and sickly Realization that
his Parents did not understand him.

One day he stood before a kind-faced Registrar and matriculated.
Branded as a regular Freshman, he went back to his little Den and put
a news-stand Photo of Lillian Russell between two Pennants.

The whalebone Divinity in the Home Town passed out of his Life. He
told himself that he would be true to Miss Russell and all the other
Members of her sprightly Profession.

The emotional side of his unfolding Nature began to nourish itself on
Song Hits, and he slept each night with his Banjo folded tightly to
his Bosom.

He became acquainted with a Sophomore who once sat near Trixie
Friganza in a Parlor Car. One night Alice Nielsen looked directly at
the Box in which he was seated with the other Fraters of the I