as too high; you raised the Left Shoulder; you were too rapid on the
Come-Back; the Grip was all in the Left Hand; you looked up; you moved
your Head at the top of the Stroke; you allowed the Left Knee to turn,
and you stood ahead of the Ball. Otherwise, it was a Loo-Loo."
"If I come out next Sunday could you borrow me a Kit of Tools?" asked
Mr. Pallzey. He was twitching violently and looking at the Ball as if
it had called him a Name. "I got that first one all right, and I
think----"
So it was arranged that the poor doomed Creature was to appear on the
following Sabbath and be equipped with a set of Cast-Offs and learn
all about the Mystery of the Ages between 11 A.M. and 2 P.M.
Mr. Pallzey went away not knowing that he was a Marked Man.
On Monday he told the Stenographer how he stung the Ball the first
time up. He said he was naturally quick at picking up any kind of a
Game. He thought it would be a Lark to get the hang of the Whole
Business and then get after some of those Berties in the White Pants.
He figured that Golf would be soft for any one who had played Baseball
when young.
Truly all the raving is not done within the Padded Cells.
He came home in the Sabbath Twilight, walking on his Ankles and
babbling about a Dandy Drive for the Long Hole.
Regarding the other 378 Strokes he was discreetly silent.
He told his Wife there was more in it than one would suppose. The
Easier the Swat, the greater the Carry. And he had made one Hole in
seven.
Then he took a Parasol out of the Jar, and illustrated the famous Long
Drive with Moving Pictures, Tableaux, Delsarte, and some newly
acquired technical Drivel, which he mouthed with childish Delight.
Now we see him buying Clubs, although he refers to them as
Sticks--proving that he is still a groping Neophyte.
He thinks that a shorter Shaft and more of a Lay-Back will enable him
to drive a Mile. The Gooseneck Putter will save him two on every Hole.
Also, will the Man please show him an Iron guaranteed to reach all the
way down to the Dimple and plunk it right in the Eye.
Then all of the new Implements laid out at Home and Wife sitting back,
listening to a Lecture as to what will be pulled off on the succeeding
Day of Rest.
She had promised at the Altar to Love, Honor, and Listen. Still, it
was trying to see the once-loved Adult cavorting on the verge of
Dementia and know that she was helpless.
He sallied forth with those going to Early Mass, and
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