away with a Niblick down in a bottomless Pit, caromed on
a couple of Oaks, and finally angled off toward the Cup, he would go
around for Days talking about Some Shot.

As his Ambition increased, his Mental Arithmetic became more and more
defective and his Moral Nature was wholly atrophied.

As an Exponent of the more advanced Play he was a Fliv, but as a
Matchmaker he was a Hum-Dinger.

He knew he was plain pastry for the Sharks, so he would hang around
the first Tee waiting to cop out a Pudding.

One day he took on Mrs. Olmstead's Infant Son, just home from Military
School.

The tender Cadet nursed him along to an even-up at the Punch-Bowl and
then proceeded to smear His vital Organs all over the Bad Lands.

That evening Mr. Pallzey told her she would have to cut down on
Household Expenses.

Six years after he gave up the Business Career and consecrated himself
to something more Important, Mr. Pallzey had so well mastered the
baffling Intricacies that he was allowed to trail in a Foursome with
the President of the Club. This happened once.

It is well known that any Person who mooches around a Country Club for
a sufficient Period will have some kind of a Cup wished on to him.

Fourteen years after Mr. Pallzey threw himself into it, Heart and
Soul, and when the Expenses approximated $30,000, he earned his Halo.

One evening he came back to his haggard Companion, chortling
infant-wise, and displayed something which looked like an Eye-Cup with
Handles on it.

He said it was a Trophy. It was a Consolation Offering for Maidens
with an allowance of more than eighteen.

After that their daily Life revolved around the $2 bargain in
Britannia. Mrs. Pallzey had to use Metal Polish on it to keep it from
turning black.

When the Visitors lined up in front of the Mantel and gazed at the
tiny Shaving Mug, the Cellar Champion of the World would regale them
with the story of hair-breadth 'Scapes and moving Adventures by Gravel
Gulleys and rushing Streams on the Memorable Day when he (Pallzey) had
put the Blocks to Old Man McLaughlin, since deceased.

Then he would ask all present to feel of his Forearm, after which he
would pull the Favorite One about Golf adding ten years to his life.

Mrs. Pallzey would be sitting back, pouring Tea, but she never chimed
in with any Estimate as to what had been the effect on her Table of
Expectations.

MORAL: Remain under the Awning.

THE NEW FABLE OF THE LONESOME CAMP ON