threw no light
upon the problem, and it seemed as though Throp's wife were going to
prove as intangible as Mrs Harris. But I am not the man to be put off by
feminine elusiveness, so I made a vow that I would give up smoking until
I had found Throp's wife and made her mine. My summer holiday was coming
on, and I decided that, instead of spending the week in Scarborough, I
would make a tour through the towns and villages of the West Riding in
search of Throp's wife. I took the matter as much to heart as if I had
been a mediaeval knight setting forth to rescue some distressed damsel
from the clutches of a wicked magician or monstrous hippogriff, and I
called my expedition "the quest of Throppes wife"; as my emblem I chose
the words "_Cherchez la femme_."
I first of all turned my steps in the direction of Pudsey, for I knew
that it had the reputation of being the home of lost souls. To my
delight I found that Pudsey professed first-hand acquaintance with the
lady.
"Throp's wife," said Pudsey; "ay, iverybody has heerd tell abaat Throp's
wife. Thrang as Throp's wife is what fowks allus say."
"Yes, yes," I replied; "but what I want to know is who Throp's wife
really was."
"Why," answered Pudsey, "shoo'll happen hae bin t' wife o' a chap they
called Throp."
Now that was just the answer I might have expected from Pudsey, and I
decided to waste no more time there. So I made for the Heavy Woollen
District--capital letters, if you please, Mr Printer--- and straightway
put my question. But the Heavy Woollen District was far too thrang
itself to take interest in anybody else's thrangness; it knew nothing
about quests or emblems, cared little about Throp's wife, and less about
me. So I commended the Heavy Woollens to the tender mercies of the
excess profits taxers and sped on my way. I struck across country for
the Calder Valley, but neither at Elland, which calls itself Yelland,
nor at Halifax, which is said to be the pleasantest place in England to
be hanged in, could I obtain any clue as to the lady's identity. "Thrang
as Throp's wife" was everywhere a household phrase, but that was all. I
was beginning to grow weary; besides, I wanted my pipe.
"What is the use," I asked Halifax, "of your establishing Literary and
Philosophical Societies, Antiquarian Societies, and a local branch of
the Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, if you cannot get to the
bottom of Throp's wife?"
Halifax was somewhat taken aback at th
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