, moving among the Epworth
folk as neighbours, yet apart, they had acquired a high pride of
family which derived nothing from vulgar chatter about titled, rich
and far-off relatives; but, taking ancestry for granted, found
sustenance enough in the daily life at the parsonage and the letters
from Westminster and Oxford. Aware of some worth in themselves, they
saw themselves pinched of food, exiled from many companions, shut out
from social gatherings for want of pocket-money and decent attire,
while amid all the muddle of his affairs their father could tramp for
miles and pledge the last ounce of his credit to scrape a few pounds
for John or Charles. They divined his purpose: but they felt the
present injustice.
They never regarded him as just. And this was mainly his own fault,
or at least the fault of his theory that women, especially daughters,
were not to be reasoned with but commanded. Hetty, for example, had
an infinite capacity for self-sacrifice. At an appeal from him she
would have surrendered, not small vanities only, but desires more
than trivial, for the brothers whom in her heart she loved to
fondness. But the sacrifice was ever exacted, not left to her
good-nature; the right word never spoken.
And now, under the same numbing deference, her mother had failed her
at a moment when all her heart cried out in its need. Hetty loved
her lover. Perhaps, if allowed to fare abroad, consort with other
girls, and learn, with responsibility, to choose better, she had
never chosen this man. She had chosen him now. Poor Hetty!
But that she did wrong to meet him secretly her conscience accused
her. She had been trained religiously. Had she no religion, then,
upon which to stay her sense of duty?
Where a mother has failed, even the Bible may fail. Hetty read her
Bible: but just because its austerer teaching had been bound too
harshly upon her at home, she turned by instinct to the gentler side
which reveals Christ's loving-kindness, His pity, His indulgence.
All generous natures lean towards this side, and to their honour, but
at times also to their very great danger. For the austerity is meant
for them who most need it. Also the austere rules are more definite,
which makes them a surer guide for the soul desiring goodness, but
passionately astray. It spurns them, demanding loving-kindness; and
discovers too late that loving-kindness dictated them.
CHAPTER III.
Two mornings after Patty's
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