alized it was not that--it was worse.
UNCLE RICHARD
_Worse!_
RICHARD
Yes. It wasn't that you grudged the money, it was that you simply didn't
_think_ of it. You felt that something had to be done, because I made you
feel uncomfortable, but you didn't know exactly what, and you were both
relieved to see me go. I had spoiled your Thanksgiving dinner--that was
the depth of your realization.
UNCLE RICHARD
No, no, Richard! You were so cold, so silent. You made it impossible for
us to help you.
RICHARD
I suppose I did seem cold. That's the instinct of inexperienced natures
when they are desperate. But it would have been so easy to break through
with one kind word or act.
UNCLE RICHARD
There, there! How glad I am that conditions are changed!
RICHARD
Changed, yes, but it was I who changed them! The shock of poverty was
terrible at first, not because I set too much value on money, nor because
I was unwilling to work, but because I felt I had no power of attack. My
nature was introspective, I lived in an epic of my own creation. My
strength and my courage were wrapped up in dreams, and seemed to have no
relation to the practical world. I could have faced the devil himself for
an ideal, but to make my own living--that was the nightmare!...
That was why I was so cold, so silent. If you had said one human thing,
straight from your heart to mine, I should have been comforted. In a case
like that, as I now know, it is not money a man wants, even if he himself
thinks it is. No. It is just sympathy, the right word that renews his
courage and arms him against the new circumstances by making him feel he
doesn't stand alone. If you had found that word, or even tried to find it,
I should have loved you like a son. My heart was ready--you did not want
it!
UNCLE RICHARD
But you finished at college, Richard....
RICHARD
Yes, I finished. And do you know how? I spent that first night all alone
in my room, thinking. In the morning I called on a classmate, a poor man
who was working his way. I said: "Here, I haven't a cent. Advise me."
We talked it all over. He helped me sell my furniture, he sublet my room.
And he gave me a job.
UNCLE RICHARD
A--
RICHARD
A job. Collecting and delivering laundry. That's how I finished at
college. I'm ashamed to admit it now, but at first that work hurt me like
a knife. I couldn't see any relation between that and my ambition for art.
But it wore off. I grew tou
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