next issue--"which
was discovered at Nice by M. CHARLOIS on the 4th September,
1891,"--the small planet, of course, not being out of the nurse's
arms, was not responsible for being at Nice at an unfashionable time,
but this, of course, is the fault of her parents and guardians--"has
been named Constantia." Rather late to delay the christening for
nearly five months. Of course, the brilliant infant will not stay at
Nice, except by medical advice, but will probably return to No. 315,
Milky Way (or elsewhere), on the first opportunity. _Sic itur ad
astra_!

* * * * *

"A STUDENT OF HISTORY" writes to us:--"Sir--I have been reading a
great deal lately on ecclesiastical subjects, and shall be very much
obliged if you will explain to me briefly what 'Inclosed Orders'
are." [If "A STUDENT" will send us, under cover to our office, two
P.O. Orders for two pounds ten shillings each respectively, further
explanation than that conveyed by our receipt for the same will be
unnecessary.--ED.]

* * * * *

A RIDDLE.

I'm underneath your feet
In the streets of London Town,
From town take "t,"
Then give it to me,
And you'll sell me for a crown.

* * * * *

MRS. R. AND THE PREVAILING EPIDEMIC.--Our excellent friend is now
convalescent. "Like CAESAR or CAESAR's wife, I forget which it was,"
she says, "I have passed the Barbican!" Some one having suggested that
probably she meant "the Rubicon," Mrs. R. thanked him politely, but
added, that she perfectly well knew what she was talking about, and
that everyone who was acquainted with history would understand her
classical delusion.

* * * * *

PUZZLER FOR A COSTUMIER.--A Gentleman going to a Fancy Dress Ball
wants to know how he can make up for Lost Time?

* * * * *

NAMES for the next pair of Tailed Monkeys sent to the Zoo--"Mr. and
Mrs. CAUDAL."

* * * * *

N.B.--"Confessions of a Duffer," No. IV., next week.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SHOWING THAT SOMETIMES IT IS GOOD FOR A COBBLER _NOT_
TO STICK TO HIS LAST.

_Fair Matron._ "I REMEMBER YOUR ACTING '_SIR ANTHONY,' YEARS_ AGO,
WHEN I WAS A GIRL, SIR CHARLES! YOU DID IT SPLENDIDLY!"

_The Great Mathematician._ "AH, WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT, THAT BIT OF
ACTING BROUGHT ME MORE COMPLIMENTS THAN