doing everything in record time. Despite my speed my letters were not
incoherent. They were simply digressive, which was to be expected, as
elation befogs one's "goal idea." Though these epistolary monstrosities
were launched, few reached those to whom they were addressed; for my
conservator had wisely ordered that my literary output be sent in bulk
to him. His action was exasperating, but later I realized that he had
done me a great favor when he interposed his judgment between my
red-hot mentality and the cool minds of the workaday world. Yet this
interference with what I deemed my rights proved to be the first step
in the general overruling of them by tactless attendants and, in
particular, by a certain assistant physician.

I had always shown a strong inclination to superintend. In consequence,
in my elated condition it was but natural that I should have an excess
of executive impulses. In order to decrease this executive pressure I
proceeded to assume entire charge of that portion of the hospital in
which I happened at the moment to be confined. What I eventually issued
as imperative orders were often presented at first as polite
suggestions. But, if my suggestions were not accorded a respectful
hearing, and my demands acted upon at once, I invariably supplemented
them with vituperative ultimatums. These were double-edged, and
involved me in trouble quite as often as they gained the ends I sought.

The assistant physician in charge of my case, realizing that he could
not grant all of my requests, unwisely decided to deny most of them.
Had he been tactful, he could have taken the same stand without
arousing my animosity. As it was, he treated me with a contemptuous
sort of indifference which finally developed into spite, and led to
much trouble for us both. During the two wild months that followed, the
superintendent and the steward could induce me to do almost anything by
simply requesting it. If two men out of three could control me easily
during such a period of mental excitement, is it not reasonable to
suppose that the third man, the assistant physician, could likewise
have controlled me had he treated me with consideration? It was his
undisguised superciliousness that gave birth to my contempt for him. In
a letter written during my second week of elation, I expressed the
opinion that he and I should get along well together. But that was
before I had become troublesome enough to try the man's patience.
Never