my God and Saviour, and sin against the earthly friends
whom I love with such a passionate intensity that they are able to wring
my heart out, and always will be, if I live to be a hundred.... People
who feel strongly express themselves strongly; vehemence is one of
my faults. Let us pray for each other. We have great capacities for
enjoyment, but we suffer more keenly than many of our race. I have been
an intense sufferer in many ways; the story would pain you; nobody can
go through this world with a heart and a soul, and jog along smoothly
long at a time.... I do not remember ever having a discussion on paper
with my husband; we should not dare to run the risk. But I know I said
something once in a letter, I forget what, that made him snatch the
first train and rush to set things right, though it cost him a two days'
journey. We are tremendous lovers still. Write and tell me we've kissed
and made up! We both mean well; we don't want to hurt each other; but
each has one million points that are very vulnerable. And neither can
know these points in the other by intuition; a cry of pain will often be
the first intimation that the one can hurt the other just there. We
must touch each other with the tips of our fingers.... To love Christ
more--this is the deepest need, the constant cry of my soul. Down in the
bowling-alley, and out in the woods, and on my bed, and out driving,
when I am happy and busy, and when I am sad and idle, the whisper keeps
going up for more love, more love, more love!

_To a Christian Friend, Dorset, Oct. 3, 1873._

I do hope you will be in New York this winter and your mother, too. What
a blessing to have a mother with whom one can hold Christian communion!
You need some trials as a set-off to it. You say few live up to what
light they have; it is true; I think we get light just as fast as we are
ready for it. At the same time I must own that I have not all the light
I need. I am still puzzled as to the true way to live; how far to
cherish a spirit that makes one sit very lightly to all earthly things,
when that spirit unfits one, to a great extent, to be an agreeable,
thoroughly sympathising companion to one's children, for instance. My
children have a real horror of Miss ----, because she thinks and talks
on only one subject; of course it never would do for me to do as she
does, as far as they are concerned. Perhaps the problem may be solved by
a resort to the fact that we are not called to the s