oly or repining temper, for I would not have life appear
otherwise than in its true light. All my sickly, wicked disgust with it
has been put to the blush and driven away. I see now that to live for
God, whether one is allowed ability to be actively useful or not, is a
great thing, and that it is a wonderful mercy to be allowed to live and
suffer even, if thereby one can glorify Him. I desire to live if it is
God's will, though I confess heaven looks most attractive when either
sin, sorrow, or sickness weary me. But I must not go on at this rate,
for I could not in writing begin to tell you how different everything
looks as I advance into a knowledge of life and see its awful sorrows
and sufferings and changes and know that I am subject to all its laws,
soon to take my turn in its mysterious close. My dear brother, let us
learn by heart the lessons we are learning, and go in their strength
and wisdom all our days.... Our children are well. Eddy has gone to be
weighed (he weighed twenty-four pounds). He is a fine little fellow.
I have his nurse still, and ought to be in excellent health, but am
a nervous old thing, as skinny and bony as I can be. I can think of
nothing but birds' claws when I look at my hands. But I have so much to
be thankful for in my dear husband and my sweet little children, and
love all of you so dearly, that I believe I am as rich as if I had the
flesh and strength of a giant. I am going this week to hear Miss Arnold
read a manuscript novel. This will give spice to my life. Warmest love
to you all.

Again, May 10th, she writes:

It would be a great pleasure to me to keep a journal for you if I were
well enough, but I am not. I have my sick headache now once a week, and
it makes me really ill for about three days. Towards night of the third
day I begin to brighten up and to eat a morsel, but hardly recover my
strength before I have another pull-down, just as I had got to this
point the door-bell rang, and lo! a beautiful May-basket hanging on the
latch for "Annie," full of pretty and good things. I can hardly wait
till morning to see how her eyes will shine and her little feet fly when
she sees it. George has been greatly distressed about S. S., and has, I
think, very little, if any, hope that he will recover. Dr. Tappan [10]
spent Tuesday night here. We had a really delightful visit from him. He
spoke highly of your classmate, Craig, who is just going to be married.
He told us a number of pleasant