that I scarcely durst speak before her; and if she
chanced to turn her eyes towards me I trembled, for fear that I had done
something to displease her. At the conclusion of my brother's harangue,
I was half inclined to reply to him in the words of Moses, when he was
spoken to from the burning bush: "Who am I, that I should go unto
Pharaoh? Send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send."

However, his words inspired me with resolution and powers I did not think
myself possessed of before. I had naturally a degree of courage, and, as
soon as I recovered from my astonishment, I found I was quite an altered
person. His address pleased me, and wrought in me a confidence in
myself; and I found I was become of more consequence than I had ever
conceived I had been. Accordingly, I replied to him thus: "Brother, if
God grant me the power of speaking to the Queen our mother as I have the
will to do, nothing can be wanting for your service, and you may expect
to derive all the good you hope from it, and from my solicitude and
attention for your interest. With respect to my undertaking such a
matter for you, you will soon perceive that I shall sacrifice all the
pleasures in this world to my watchfulness for your service. You may
perfectly rely on me, as there is no one that honours or regards you more
than I do. Be well assured that I shall act for you with the Queen my
mother as zealously as you would for yourself."

These sentiments were more strongly impressed upon my mind than the words
I made use of were capable of conveying an idea of. This will appear
more fully in my following letters.

As soon as we were returned from walking, the Queen my mother retired
with me into her closet, and addressed the following words to me: "Your
brother has been relating the conversation you have had together; he
considers you no longer as a child, neither shall I. It will be a great
comfort to me to converse with you as I would with your brother. For the
future you will freely speak your mind, and have no apprehensions of
taking too great a liberty, for it is what I wish." These words gave me
a pleasure then which I am now unable to express. I felt a satisfaction
and a joy which nothing before had ever caused me to feel. I now
considered the pastimes of my childhood as vain amusements. I shunned
the society of my former companions of the same age. I disliked dancing
and hunting, which I thought beneath my attention. I strictly co