and I shall want somebody to shut my mouth. [Binny
hurries off, L. 1 E.] Wal, now I am alone, I can look about me and
indulge the enquiring spirit of an American citizen. What an everlasting
lot of things and fixins there is to be sure. [Opens table draw.] Here's
a place will hold my plunder beautifully. [Sees bottle.] Hallo, what's
this? [Comes down.] Something good to drink. [Smells bottle.] It smells
awful bad. [Reads label.] Golden Fluid, one application turns the hair
a beautiful brown, several applications will turn the hair a lustrous
black. Well, if they keep on it may turn a pea green. I reckon this has
been left here by some fellow who is ashamed of the natural color of his
top knot. [Knock.] Come in.

Enter Binny, L. 1 E.

Bin Mr. Buddicombe, sir, my lord's hown man.

Asa Roll him in. [Binny beckons, enter Buddicombe.] Turkey cock number
two, what is it?

Bud My Lord Dundreary's compliments and _have_ you seen a small _bottle_
in the toilet table drawer?

Asa Suppose I had, what then?

Bud My lord wants it particly.

Asa Was it a small bottle?

Bud A small bottle.

Bin Bottle small.

Asa Blue label?

Bin Label blue.

Asa Red sealing wax on the top?

Bud Red sealing wax.

Bin Wax red.

Asa Nice little bottle?

Bin Little bottle nice.

Asa Wal, I ain't seen it. [Aside.] If my lord sets a valley on it, guess
it must be worth something.

Bud Sorry to trouble you, sir.

Bin [ Aside to Bud.] What his hit?

Bud My lord's hair dye, the last bottle, and he turns red tomorrow.
[Exit in haste.]

Bin Orrable, what an hawful situation, to be sure.

Asa [Aside.] So I've got my ring on that lord's nose, and if I don't
make him dance to my tune it's a pity.

Bin Miss Florence begged me to say she had borrowed a costume for you,
for the harchery meeting, sir.

Asa Hain't you dropped something?

Bin Where?

Asa What do you mean by the harchery meeting?

Bin Where they shoot with bows and harrows.

Asa There goes another of them, oh! you need'nt look for them, you can't
find 'em when you want 'em. Now you just take my compliments to Miss
Trenchard when I goes out shooting with injurious weapons I always wears
my own genuine shooting costume. That's the natural buff tipped off with
a little red paint.

Bin Good gracious, he'd look like Hadam and Heve, in the garden of Eden.
[Exit Binny.]

Asa Wal, there's a queer lot of fixings. [Sees shower bath.] What on
airth is that? Looks li