you're cured I want to stay sick. He must be a mighty smart
man.

Dun A very clever man, he is.

Asa Wal, darn me, if there ain't a physiological change taking place.
Your whiskers at this moment--

Dun My whiskers!

Asa Yes, about the ends they're as black as a niggers in billing time,
and near the roots they're all speckled and streaked.

Dun [Horror struck.] My whiskers speckled and streaked?

Asa [Showing bottle.] Now, this is a wonderful invention.

Dun My hair dye. My dear sir.

Asa [Squeezing his hand.] How are you?

Dun Dear Mr. Trenchard.

Puts arm on shoulder. Asa repeats Dundreary business, putting on
eyeglass, hopping round the stage and stroking whiskers.

Dun He's mad, he's deaf, he squints, stammers and he's a hopper.

Asa Now, look here, you get the Lieut. a ship and I'll give you the
bottle. It's a fine swap.

Dun What the devil is a swap?

Asa Well, you give me the ship, and I'll give you the bottle to boot.

Dun What do I want of your boots? I haven't got a ship about me.

Asa You'd better make haste or your whiskers will be changed again.
They'll be a pea green in about a minute.

Dun [Crosses to L.] Pea green! [Exits hastily into house.]

Asa I guess I've got a ring in his nose now. I wonder how that sick gal
is getting along? Wal, darn me, if the dying swallow ain't pitching into
ham and eggs and home-made bread, wal, she's a walking into the fodder
like a farmer arter a day's work rail splitting. I'll just give her a
start. How de do, Miss, allow me to congratulate you on the return of
your appetite. [Georgina scream.] Guess I've got a ring in her pretty
nose now. [Looks off, R.] Hello! here comes the lickers and shooters,
it's about time I took my medicine, I reckon.

Enter, from R. 2. E., Sir E., Mrs. M. Florence, Vernon, Augusta, De
Boots, Wickens, Coyle, Sharpe, Binny, Skillet, Buddicombe, two servants
in livery, carrying tray and glasses, a wine basket containing four
bottles to represent champagne, knife to cut strings, some powerful acid
in one bottle for Asa--pop sure.

Sir E Now to distribute the prizes, and drink to the health of the
winner of the golden arrow.

Flo And there must stand the hero of the day. Come, kneel down.

Asa Must I kneel down?

Flo I am going to crown you Capt. of the Archers of Trenchard Manor.

Asa [Aside to Florence.] I've got the ship.

Flo No; have you?

Sir E Come, ladies and gentlemen, take from me. [Takes glasses, Sta