tune.

Mrs M Not heir to the fortune, Mr. Trenchard?

Asa Oh, no.

Aug What, no fortune?

Asa Nary red, it all comes to their barkin up the wrong tree about the
old man's property.

Mrs M Which he left to you.

Asa Oh, no.

Aug Not to you?

Asa No, which he meant to leave to me, but he thought better on it, and
left it to his granddaughter Miss Mary Meredith.

Mrs M Miss Mary Meredith! Oh, I'm delighted.

Aug Delighted?

Asa Yes, you both look tickled to death. Now, some gals, and mothers
would go away from a fellow when they found that out, but you don't
valley fortune, Miss Gusty?

Mrs M [Aside, crosses to Aug.] My love, you had better go.

Asa You crave affection, _you_ do. Now I've no fortune, but I'm filling
over with affections which I'm ready to pour out all over you like apple
sass, over roast pork.

Mrs M Mr. Trenchard, you will please recollect you are addressing my
daughter, and in my presence.

Asa Yes, I'm offering her my heart and hand just as she wants them with
nothing in 'em.

Mrs M Augusta, dear, to your room.

Aug Yes, ma, the nasty beast. [Exit R.]

Mrs M I am aware, Mr. Trenchard, you are not used to the manners of good
society, and that, alone, will excuse the impertinence of which you have
been guilty.

Asa Don't know the manners of good society, eh? Well, I guess I know
enough to turn you inside out, old gal--you sockdologizing old man-trap.
Wal, now, when I think what I've thrown away in hard cash to-day I'm apt
to call myself some awful hard names, 400,000 dollars is a big pile for
a man to light his cigar with. If that gal had only given me herself in
exchange, it wouldn't have been a bad bargain. But I dare no more ask
that gal to be my wife, than I dare ask Queen Victoria to dance a Cape
Cod reel.

Enter Florence, L. 1 E.

Flo What do you mean by doing all these dreadful things?

Asa Which things.

Flo Come here sir. [He does so.]

Asa What's the matter?

Flo Do you know this piece of paper? [Showing burnt paper.]

Asa Well I think I have seen it before. [Aside.] Its old Mark
Trenchard's will that I left half burned up like a landhead, that I am.

Flo And you're determined to give up this fortune to Mary Meredith?

Asa Well, I couldn't help it if I tried.

Flo Oh, don't say that.

Asa I didn't mean to do it when I first came here--hadn't the least idea
in the world of it, but when I saw that everlasting angel of a gal movin
around among them doi