present outlay would be repaid by the cunning and covetous Snooks.
So much was Bumpkin's heart in the work of crushing his opponent, that
expense was treated with ridicule. I heard him one day say jocularly to
Mr. Prigg, who had come for an affidavit:

"Be it a pig, sir, or a heifer?"

"O," said the worthy Prigg, "we want a pretty good one; I think it must
be a heifer."

All this was very pleasant, and made the business, dull and prosaic in
itself, a cheerful recreation.

Then, again, there was a feeling of self-importance whenever these
affidavits came to be sworn. Mr. Bumpkin would put down his ash-stick by
the side of the fireplace, and bidding his visitor be seated, would
compose himself with satisfaction to listen to the oft-repeated words:

"I, Thomas Bumpkin, make oath, and say--"

Fancy, "_I_, _Bumpkin_!" Just let the reader pause over that for a
moment! What must "I, Bumpkin," be whose statement is required on oath
before my Lord Judge?

Always, at these words, he would shout. "That be it--now then, sir,
would you please begin that agin?"--while, if Mrs. Bumpkin were not too
busy, he would call her in to hear them too.

So there was no wonder that the action went merrily along. Once get up
enthusiasm in a cause, and it is half won. Without enthusiasm, few
causes can succeed against opposition. Then, again, the affidavit
described Bumpkin as a Yeoman. What, I wonder, would Snooks the
coal-merchant think of that?

So everything proceeded satisfactorily, and the months rolled away; the
seasons came in their turn, so did the crops, so did the farrows of pigs,
so did the spring chickens, and young ducks (prettiest little golden
things in the world, on the water); so did Mr. Prigg, and so did a
gentleman (hereafter to be called "the man,") with whom a very convenient
arrangement was made, by which Mr. Bumpkin preserved the whole of his
remaining stock intact; had not in fact to advance a single penny piece
more; all advances necessary for the prosecution of the action being made
by the strange gentleman (whose name I did not catch) under that most
convenient of all legal forms, "a Bill of Sale."

CHAPTER IX.

A farmhouse winter fireside--a morning drive and a mutual interchange of
ideas between town and country: showing how we may all learn something
from one another.

I never saw the home of Farmer Bumpkin without thinking what a happy and
comfortable home it was. The old elm tree t