n, and so on."

"If ever I 'eerd tell o' sich a thing in my borned days."

"No, but it's true. Well, he was laid up a long time under medical
treatment, and it was months before he could get about, and then he
brings his action: but before it came on he prosecutes his servant for
stealing some trumpery thing or other--a very pretty girl she was
too--and the trial came on at Quarter Sessions."

"Where Squoire Stooky sits."

"I never laughed so in all my life; there was the railway company with
the red light, and there was Fireaway, the counsel for the girl, and then
in hobbled the prosecutor, with a great white bandage round his head. He
was so feeble through the injuries he had received that he could hardly
walk. 'Now then,' says the counsel, 'is he sworn?' 'Yes,' says the
crier.

"'He must be sworn on the Koran,' says Fireaway; 'he's a Mommadon.'

"'Where's the Jorum?' says the crier. 'Must be swore on the Jorum.'

"O dear, dear, you should ha' heard 'em laugh--it was more like a
theayter than a court. It was not only roars, but continnerus roars for
several minutes. And all the time the larfter was going on there was
this man throwin' out his arms over the witness-box at the counsel like a
madman; and the more he raved the more they laughed. He was changed from
a hobblin' invalid, as the counsel said, into a hathletic pugilist."

"I 'ope she got off."

"Got off with flying colours--we're magnanimous said the jury, 'not
guilty.'"

"Well, I likes upright and down-straight," said Bumpkin, "it'll goo
furdest in th' long run."

"Yes," said O'Rapley, "and the longer the run the furder it'll go."

"So 't wool; but if you doan't mind, sir, I'd like to get nearer that
'ere fireplace."

"The funnel--very well." And as they moved Mr. O'Rapley, in the
exuberance of his spirits, delivered another ball at the chimney, which
apparently took the middle stump, for the chimney again broke in half.

"Got him!" said he. "I quite agree, and I'll tell you for why. You can
play a straight ball if you mind what you are about--just take your bat
so, and bring your left elbow well round so, and keep your bat, as you
say, upright and down-straight, so--and there you are. And there,
indeed, Mr. Bumpkin was, on his back, for the boat at that moment bumped
so violently against the side of the pier that many persons were
staggering about as if they were in a storm.

"Zounds!" said the farmer, as he was being picked up-