ht, with a smile.

"That's clearly not evidence," says the Lord Mayor, gravely. Whereupon
there was another burst of laughter, in which the clerk seemed to take
the lead. The remarkable fact, however, was, that his Lordship was
perfectly at a loss to comprehend the joke. He was "as grave as a
Judge."

After the laughter had subsided, the learned Keepimstraight leaned
backward, and the learned Lord Mayor leaned forward, and it seemed to me
they were conversing together about the cause of the laughter; for
suddenly a smile illuminated the rubicund face of the cheery Lord Mayor,
and at last he had a laugh to himself--a solo, after the band had ceased.
And then his Lordship spoke:

"What your watch may say is not evidence, because it has not been sworn."

Then the band struck up again to a lively tune, his Lordship playing the
first Fiddle; and the whole scene terminated in the most humorous and
satisfactory manner for all parties--_except_, perhaps, the prisoner--who
was duly committed for trial to the next sittings of the Central Criminal
Court, which were to take place in a fortnight.

Mr. Bumpkin naturally asked for his watch, but that request was smilingly
refused.

"Bin in our famly forty years," exclaimed the prisoner.

"Will you be quiet?" said Mr. Nimble petulantly, for it was a foolish
observation for the prisoner to make, inasmuch as, if Mr. Bumpkin had
been represented by professional skill, the remark would surely be met at
the trial with abundant evidence to disprove it. Mr. Bumpkin at present,
however, has no professional skill.

* * * * *

Here something disturbed me, and I awoke. While preparing to enjoy my
pipe as was my custom in these intervals, my wife remarked:

"I do not approve of that Master O'Rapley by any means, with his
cynicisms and sarcasms and round squares. Did ever anyone hear of such a
contradiction?"

"Have patience," quoth I, "and we shall see how worthy Master O'Rapley
makes it out. I conjecture that he means the same thing that we hear of
under the term, 'putting the round peg into the square hole.'"

"But why should such a thing be done when it is easy surely to find a
square peg that would fit?"

"Granted; but the master-hand may be under obligations to the round peg;
or the round peg may be a disagreeable peg, or a hundred things: one
doesn't know. I am but a humble observer of human nature, and like not
these ungracious cavilli