board bill?"

"Oh, I see. Oh, well, landlord, you needn't worry about that. We are
well pleased with your accommodations, and haven't the slightest thought
of quitting you."

"Yes; but the longer you stay the worse I am off," said he.

"Well, I can't see how you make that out. The longer we stay the more we
will owe you."

"Exactly so, and that's where the trouble lies."

"Well, the more we owe you the more you will have coming," I suggested;
"and I'll just say this: That we have been traveling over a large scope
of country, and yours is one of the best hotels we have ever stopped at;
and I'll give you my word as a gentleman that we'll never leave till our
bill is settled."

"But, ---- it!" He ejaculated. "I tell you the longer you stay the worse
I am off, and the harder it will be to settle."

"But," said I, "you don't understand the nature of our business. If you
did you would know that it would be as easy for us to pay a large bill
as a small one." I then added:

"Rest assured, landlord, that until this bill is paid in full--one
hundred cents on the dollar--you can always count on two Star boarders."

We then stared at each other for about two minutes, when he began to
laugh, and said:

"Well, you're a dandy! Come and take a drink."

"No, thank you; I never drink."

"Take a cigar, then."

"I never smoke, landlord."

"Well, what on earth do you do? I'd like to show my appreciation of the
style of man you are, by treating or doing something to please you."

"Then I'll tell you what you can do, landlord; while you are out
borrowing the twenty-five dollars, suppose you make it about forty, and
let us have the fifteen to settle up our wash bill, and pay a little
bill we owe across the road."

And to show him the necessity of helping us out, I plainly told him the
facts about how we had been getting our laundry, and our experience of
the previous day.

He laughed till he fell on the floor; and then took me to his wife's
apartments and asked me to relate the circumstances to her two lady
friends.

He borrowed the fifteen dollars for us, and said we should make
ourselves comfortable, which we were glad to do. We then relieved
ourselves of the two extra shirts each, and again settled down to
business.

Our papers at last arrived from Washington, and we began closing up a
few trades we had been working up. They were mostly small ones, however,
and usually for collaterals which we were obliged to conv