amongst other things that he got thence, he had every
year a pig, and it was his wont still to betake himself thither, he
and his wife, and kill the pig and have it salted on the spot. It
chanced one year that, his wife being somewhat ailing, he went himself
to kill the pig, which Bruno and Buffalmacco hearing and knowing that
his wife was not gone to the farm with him, they repaired to a priest,
very great friend of theirs and a neighbor of Calandrino, to sojourn
some days with him. Now Calandrino had that very morning killed the
pig and seeing them with the priest, called to them saying, 'You are
welcome. I would fain have you see what a good husband[382] I am.'
Then carrying them into the house, he showed them the pig, which they
seeing to be a very fine one and understanding from Calandrino that he
meant to salt it down for his family, 'Good lack,' quoth Bruno to him,
'what a ninny thou art! Sell it and let us make merry with the price,
and tell thy wife that it hath been stolen from thee.' 'Nay, answered
Calandrino, 'she would never believe it and would drive me out of the
house. Spare your pains, for I will never do it.' And many were the
words, but they availed nothing.

[Footnote 382: _i.e._ in the old sense of "manager" (_massajo_).]

Calandrino invited them to supper, but with so ill a grace that they
refused to sup there and took their leave of him; whereupon quoth
Bruno and Buffalmacco, 'What sayest thou to stealing yonder pig from
him to-night?' 'Marry,' replied the other, 'how can we do it?' Quoth
Bruno, 'I can see how well enough, an he remove it not from where it
was but now.' 'Then,' rejoined his companion, 'let us do it. Why
should we not? And after we will make merry over it with the parson
here.' The priest answered that he would well, and Bruno said, 'Here
must some little art be used. Thou knowest, Buffalmacco, how
niggardly Calandrino is and how gladly he drinketh when others pay;
let us go and carry him to the tavern, where the priest shall make
believe to pay the whole scot in our honor nor suffer him to pay
aught. Calandrino will soon grow fuddled and then we can manage it
lightly enough, for that he is alone in the house.' As he said, so
they did and Calandrino seeing that the priest suffered none to pay,
gave himself up to drinking and took in a good load, albeit it needed
no great matter to make him drunk. It was pretty late at night when
they left the tavern and Calandrino, without troubli