offered to turn himself into a yaboo, and carry
water for me, which I had civilly declined, for what reason he knew not,
as he did not hear the rest of the conversation.

"At this evidence, the cadi and mollahs who sat with him, turned up
their eyes with horror, and proceeded to discuss the degree of
punishment, which so enormous a crime deserved, quite forgetting to ask
me if I had any thing to offer in my defence. At last they settled
that, as a commencement, I should receive five hundred bastinadoes on
the soles of my feet; and, if I lived, about as many more on my belly.
The cadi was about to pronounce his irrevocable _fetva_, when I took the
liberty of interrupting this rapid course of justice. `O cadi,' said I,
`and ye, mollahs, whose beards drop wisdom, let your slave offer, at the
footstool of justice, the precious proofs of innocence.' `Produce them
quickly then, thou wedded to Shitan and Jehanum,' replied the cadi.
Whereupon I loosened the string which attached the mouth, and allowed
all the water to run out of the skin. I then turned the skin inside
out, and showing to them the horns of the young ox, which fortunately I
had not cut off, I demanded of the cadi and of the mollahs, if any of
them had ever seen a pig with horns. At this they every one fell a
laughing, as if I had uttered a cream of a joke. My innocence was
declared, and my two accusers had the five hundred bastinadoes shared
between them. The water-carriers were too much alarmed at the result of
this attempt to attack me any more, and the true believers, from the
notoriety of the charge, and my acquittal of having rendered them
unclean, from the use of swinish skin, all sought my custom. In short,
I have only to fill my skin, to empty it again, and I daily realise so
handsome an income, that I have thrown care to the dogs, and spend in
jollity every night what I have worked hard for every day. As soon as
the muezzin calls to evening prayers, I lay aside my skin, betake myself
to the mosque, perform my ablutions, and return thanks to Allah. After
which I repair to the bazaar, purchase meat with one dirhem, rakee with
another, others go for fruit and flowers, cakes, sweetmeats, bread, oils
for my lamps, and the remainder I spend in wine. As soon as all is
collected, I arrive at my own house, put every thing in order, light up
my lamps, and enjoy myself after my own fashion. So now you know all I
choose to tell you, and whether you are me