er the broad space of five-and-twenty years of time,--but
the "damned spots" won't come out--so I'll put my hands in my pockets
and walk on.

Conscience, fortunately or unfortunately, I hardly can tell which,
permits us to form political and religious creeds, most suited to
disguise or palliate our sins. Mine is a military conscience; and I
agree with Bates and Williams, who flourished in the time of Henry the
Fifth, that it is "all upon the king:" that is to say, it _was_ all upon
the king; but now our constitution has become so incomparably perfect,
that "the king can do no wrong;" and he has no difficulty in finding
ministers, who voluntarily impignorating themselves for all his actions
in this world, will, in all probability, not escape from the clutches of
the great _Pawnbroker_ in the next--from which facts I draw the
following conclusions:--

First. That his majesty (God bless him!) will go to heaven.

Secondly. That his majesty's ministers will all go to the devil.

Thirdly. That I shall go on with my story.

As, however, a knowledge of the previous history of our pacha will be
necessary to the development of our story, the reader will in this
instance be indulged. He had been brought up to the profession of a
barber; but, possessing great personal courage, he headed a popular
commotion in favour of his predecessor, and was rewarded by a post of
some importance in the army. Successful in detached service, while his
general was unfortunate in the field, he was instructed to take off the
head of his commander, and head the troops in his stead; both of which
services he performed with equal skill and celerity. Success attended
him, and the pacha, his predecessor, having in his opinion, as well as
in that of the sultan, remained an unusual time in office, by an
accusation enforced by a thousand purses of gold, he was enabled to
produce a bowstring for his benefactor; and the sultan's "firmaun"
appointed him to the vacant pachalik. His qualifications for office
were all superlative: he was very short, very corpulent, very
illiterate, very irascible, and very stupid.

On the morning after his investment, he was under the hands of his
barber, a shrewd intelligent Greek, Mustapha by name. Barbers are
privileged persons for many reasons: running from one employer to
another to obtain their livelihood, they also obtain matter for
conversation, which, impertinent as it may sometimes be, serves to
begu