and to explain it would not only be too humiliating, but subject me to
more rigorous discipline. At last I considered that out of evil might
spring good; and gathering a large bundle of the nettles which grew
under the walls, I crawled back to the convent. When I attained my
cell, I threw off my gown, which was now unbearable from the swelling of
my limbs, and commenced thrashing the walls of my cell and my bed with
the nettles which I had procured.

After a short time, I moaned piteously, and continued so to do, louder
and louder, until some of the friars got up to inquire the reason; when
they found me, apparently, castigating myself in this cruel manner.
When they opened the door, I threw myself on the bed, and cried still
more vociferously. This certainly was the only part of my conduct which
was not deceptive, for I was in the most acute agony. To their
inquiries, I told them that I had been guilty of great enormities: that
the superior had reproved me, and ordered me penance; and that I had
scourged myself with nettles; requesting them to continue the
application as my strength had failed me. With this injunction they
were too humane to comply. Some went for the surgeon of the convent,
while others reported the circumstance to the superior. The former
applied remedies which assuaged the pain: the latter was so pleased at
my apparent contrition, that he gave me absolution, and relieved me from
the penance to which I had been subjected. When I recovered, I was more
in favour, and was permitted the same indulgences as before.

But I was some days confined to my bed, during which I was continually
reflecting upon what had passed. I perceived, to my misery, the pale
which I had placed between me and the world, by embracing a monastic
life and how unfit I was, by temperament, to fulfil my vows. I cursed
my father and mother, who had been the original cause of my present
situation. I cursed the monastic dress which blazoned forth my unhappy
condition. Then I thought of the treacherous girl, and planned schemes
of revenge. I compared my personal qualifications with those of the
young officer; and vanity suggested, that were it not for my vile
professional disguise, the advantage was on my side. At last I decided
upon the steps that I would take.

As I before stated, my purse was well supplied from the lessons which I
gave in music, and from assisting at the serenades. When I was
sufficiently recovered to