ices about my person a certain
Bendel, whose honest and intelligent physiognomy immediately
captivated me. He it was whose attachment has since accompanied me
consolingly through the wretchedness of life, and has helped me
to support my gloomy lot. I spent the whole day in my room among
masterless servants, shoemakers, tailors, and tradespeople. I fitted
myself out, and purchased besides a great many jewels and valuables
for the sake of getting rid of some of the vast heap of hoarded-up
gold; but it seemed to me as if it were impossible to diminish it.

In the meantime I brooded over my situation in the most agonizing
doubts. I dared not venture a step out of my doors, and at evening I
caused forty waxlights to be lit in my room before I issued from
the shade. I thought with horror on the terrible scene with the
schoolboys, yet I resolved, much courage as it demanded, once more to
make a trial of public opinion. The nights were then moonlight. Late
in the evening I threw on a wide cloak, pressed my hat over my eyes,
and stole, trembling like a criminal, out of the house. I stepped
first out of the shade in whose protection I had arrived so far, in
a remote square, into the full moonlight, determined to learn my fate
out of the mouths of the passers-by.

Spare me, dear friend, the painful repetition of all that I had to
endure. The women often testified the deepest compassion with which
I inspired them, declarations which no less transpierced me than the
mockery of the youth and the proud contempt of the men, especially
of those fat, well fed fellows, who themselves cast a broad shadow.
A lovely and sweet girl, who, as it seemed, accompanied her parents,
while these discreetly only looked before their feet, turned by chance
her flashing eyes upon me. She was obviously terrified; she observed
my want of a shadow, let fall her veil over her beautiful countenance,
and dropping her head, passed in silence.

I could bear it no longer. Briny streams started from my eyes, and,
cut to the heart, I staggered back into the shade. I was obliged to
support myself against the houses to steady my steps and wearily and
late reached my dwelling.

I spent a sleepless night. The next morning it was my first care to
have the man in the gray coat everywhere sought after. Possibly I
might succeed in finding him again, and how joyful if he repented of
the foolish bargain as heartily as I did! I ordered Bendel to me, for
he appeared to po