mes I flattered myself with great expectations from the
rapidly approaching visit of the gray man, and wept again when I had
in vain tried to believe in it. I had calculated the day on which I
expected again to see the fearful one; for he had said in a year and a
day; and I believed his word.

The parents, good honorable old people, who loved their only child
extremely, were amazed at the connection, as it already stood, and
they knew not what to do in it. Earlier they could not have believed
that Count Peter could think only of their child; but now he really
loved her and was beloved again. The mother was probably vain enough
to believe in the probability of a union, and to seek for it; the
sound masculine understanding of the father did not give way to such
overstretched imaginations. Both were persuaded of the purity of my
love; they could do nothing more than pray for their child.

I have laid my hand on a letter from Mina of this date, which I still
retain. Yes, this is her own writing. I transcribe it for thee:

"I am a weak silly maiden, and cannot believe that my beloved, because
I love him dearly, dearly, will make the poor girl unhappy. Ah! thou
art so kind, so inexpressibly kind, but do not misunderstand me. Thou
shalt sacrifice nothing for me, desire to sacrifice nothing for me.
Oh God! I should hate myself if thou didst! No--thou hast made me
immeasurably happy; hast taught me to love thee. Away! I know my own
fate. Count Peter belongs not to me, he belongs to the world. I will
be proud when I hear--'that was he, and that was he again--and that
has he accomplished; there they have worshipped him, and there they
have deified him!' See, when I think of this, then am I angry with
thee that with a simple child thou canst forget thy high destiny.
Away! or the thought will make me miserable! I--oh! who through thee
am so happy, so blessed! Have I not woven, too, an olive branch and
a rosebud into thy life, as into the wreath which I was allowed to
present to thee? I have thee in my heart, my beloved; fear not to
leave me. I will die oh! so happy, so ineffably happy through thee!"

Thou canst imagine how the words must cut through my heart. I
explained to her that I was not what people believed me, that I was
only a rich but infinitely miserable man. That a curse rested on me,
which must be the only secret between us, since I was not yet without
hope that it should be solved. That this was the poison of my days